


heart devoured

by cjmasim



Category: Men's Hockey RPF
Genre: (that's anders), Age Difference, Alternate Universe - Boy Band, Alternate Universe - X Factor Fusion, Homophobia, Humor, Light Angst, M/M, Power Dynamics, Trans Character, Two Tranz, and nothing is super detailed, everything that happens is consensual, lots of one direction references
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-04
Updated: 2019-11-05
Packaged: 2021-01-23 09:14:10
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 26,162
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21317740
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cjmasim/pseuds/cjmasim
Summary: When Brandon was a kid watchingAmerican Idol, he’d dream of being on the big stage, all eyes on him as he sang one of those songs his dad loved -Bohemian RhapsodyorRock You Like a Hurricane, maybe. He was good,so good, everyone would tell him. If he ever sang in front of David Backes on television, he could sing anything he wanted to - even theBarneytheme song - and he wouldn't get to finish before Backes is begging him to sign a record deal.Reality doesn't quite live up to that. He's waiting backstage to audition onThe X Factor, notAmerican Idol, and he's not singing a song his dad approves of. He knows not every eye will be on him. Sure, Backes is still there, but Brandon's under no illusion that he'll be signed today. The jury's still out on whether Backes will even like him - he's notoriously hard to please.He also didn't realize Backes is hot when he was a kid watching him on TV but, well, things change.
Relationships: Anders Bjork/Matt Grzelcyk, Danton Heinen/Sean Kuraly, David Backes/Brandon Carlo, Jake DeBrusk/Charlie McAvoy, Minor or Background Relationship(s), also waggle, minor references to carlo/clifton
Comments: 48
Kudos: 29
Collections: Hockey Big Bang (2019)





	1. Auditions

**Author's Note:**

  * For [goldenpuno](https://archiveofourown.org/users/goldenpuno/gifts).

> for Therese, because this fic wouldn't exist without you. it all started when we were clowning as usual, and somehow got on the subject of Brandon looking like he belongs in a boy band. i think it was me who said something about that making Backes Simon Cowell, and, well, the rest is history. when i started working on this fic, Ryan Donato was going to be in the band, so that tells you how long it's been. it's been a labor of love, though, and as someone who once went through a massive 1D phase (followed by 5sos) without ever actually writing fic about them, it felt like something i've been meaning to do for years. this fic is, obviously, heavily inspired by 1D, but believe it or not it's based more on Emblem3. shoutout to anyone who remembers them existing - they actually just dropped a new EP, like, a week ago, but they're not exactly relevant anymore. smh. all callouts of fans who jumped ship from 1D to 5sos or only watched the x factor to find the next 1D are 100% directed at myself.
> 
> also, if you don't know why Backes/Carlo is a ship, look no further than [Brandon's lap in this pic](https://cjmasim.tumblr.com/post/188825880181).
> 
> because Therese is the Danton to my Sean and we're in sync and all that, we ended up working together on the art for this fic too. you can find the playlist and moodboard [here on her blog](https://wakline.tumblr.com/post/188825924729/heart-devoured-a-playlist-based-on-the-fic-by)! she really popped off - stan talent stan goldenpuno/wakline. or else.
> 
> anyway, warnings for this fic are mostly in the tags, but i'll put them here too. obviously, age difference is a big one, and power dynamics that go along with that. there are also power dynamics due to Backes being Brandon's mentor on the show. this isn't healthy, but it's not presented as such in the narrative, and everything that happens is fully consensual. there are also some references to homophobia, particularly with parents as the perpetrators, and there is a brief mention of both daddy and mommy kinks. there's a little bit of vague sex in here, but i'm incapable of writing sex scenes so don't worry about anything more explicit than a fade to black.
> 
> the timeline is not linear for the first two chapters, but after that it is. this is because it's separated in the same way it would be aired on tv, with some scenes that wouldn't be in the show. i included dates & locations to help clarify.
> 
> the title comes from no control by one direction, obviously. if you or someone you know irl is represented in this fic, please pay my college tuition and click away, thanks.
> 
> enjoy!

**JUNE 9, 2014 - ST. LOUIS, MISSOURI**

When Brandon was a kid watching _American Idol_, he’d dream of being on the big stage, all eyes on him as he sang one of those songs his dad loved - _Bohemian Rhapsody_ or _Rock You Like a Hurricane_, maybe. He was good, _so good_, everyone would tell him. If he ever sang in front of David Backes on television, he could sing anything he wanted to - even the _Barney_ theme song - and he wouldn't get to finish before Backes is begging him to sign a record deal.

Reality doesn't quite live up to that. He's waiting backstage to audition on _The X Factor_, not _American Idol_, and he's not singing a song his dad approves of. He knows not every eye will be on him - there are a lot of genres represented on this show, and not everyone in the audience would care to watch a 19-year-old second coming of Justin Bieber when Twitter and Instagram call out to them. Sure, Backes is still there, but Brandon's under no illusion that he'll be signed today. The jury's still out on whether Backes will even like him - he's notoriously hard to please.

He also didn't realize Backes is hot when he was a kid watching him on TV but, well, things change.

He's not going to dwell on that. It's been an hour already, and Brandon knows it won't be too long before he's called up to sing. There are only a few hundred people here to do just that. If he can remember the words and remember to smile, he'll be fine. That's what his mom told him, anyway; Brandon thinks he has to remember how to sing and drink enough green tea, too.

Getting here was hard enough. On TV, they make it look like anyone can just show up to one of the auditions and sing in front of the judges, but that's not at all the case. Brandon had to submit three video auditions online just to earn the privilege of driving ten hours from Denver to come sing for two minutes. They were just minute-long clips of him singing _U Smile_, _Keep On Loving You_, and the same song he's currently listening to the recording of himself singing through his headphones. He's heard it too many times, probably. He definitely knows it, but he also knows that nerves can get the best of him and make him fuck up, even on a song he's probably listened to every day for four years and could sing in his sleep.

Admittedly, listening to himself sing and going over every mistake he needs to avoid probably isn't going to help calm his nerves. As much as he hates to do it, he rips out the earbuds and shoves them in his pocket, leaning his head back to stare at the ceiling while he takes in all the noise.

Someone's trying to rap Nicki Minaj's verse in _Monster_ to the judges right now, and it's so laughably bad that it almost makes Brandon feel better. He knows people who are laughably bad get through to this round just to get people to watch the show, but at least he knows he isn't as bad as this woman is. Sometimes he wonders if maybe he really has been kidding himself all along thinking that he can sing, but he knows that’s bullshit.

The more he looks around, the more he notices just how many people brought family and friends with them. It seems like just about everyone here brought at least three people with them, and Brandon wonders how much better the drive would've been if he'd brought friends to talk to instead of listening to the recording of his audition song playing on repeat the whole time.

At least he's prepared.

He didn't bring a phone charger, so he spends the next half hour or so zoning out, paying just the tiniest bit of attention to the auditions in the background, before someone sits next to him. Brandon had been so deep in his own head that he doesn't even notice until they say "'Sup?"

He looks over to see someone in an open orange and pink Hawaiian shirt with something vaguely resembling a black tube top or sports bra underneath, white skinny jeans, bright purple Jordans, a white backwards snapback, and a gold chain. It's a stark contrast to Brandon's white button-down, light gray cardigan, dark wash jeans, and white Converse, but it's no surprise. Most people here do look a lot less boring than he does.

"Oh, hello," Brandon says, smiling in greeting and trying to remember what he read on the Internet about how to ask someone for their pronouns. "I'm Brandon Carlo."

"That sounds like the name of a future star," the stranger says, nodding in approval. "I'm Two Tranz, and I promise I'm nothing like other white guy rappers who started on Soundcloud. You can call me Anders."

"Two Tranz, huh? That's a cool name; where'd you come up with it?" He has an idea, anyway.

Anders smiles and raises his eyebrows, probably trying to look mysterious. "That's a secret I'll never tell."

"Aw," Brandon fake pouts. "Not even for your best friend on the X Factor?"

"You make a good point…" Anders sighs, shaking his head dramatically. "Fine. I'll tell you, but only you. It was a cold, rainy evening in Milwaukee - that's where I'm from. I was driving back from a house party - I didn't drink - and listening to 2 Chainz. My friend Brock - well, he wasn't really _just_ a friend, but, like, whatever - he started rapping along, and he was so bad; I couldn't stop laughing. So I joined in, you know, just for fun, but then he and my other friends, Dylan and Zach, they were all like, 'Wow Annie, you're a really good rapper, you should be famous' and I should've just taken the compliment but inside I was just thinking about how I'm too trans to make it in the music industry, and the name stuck. Like spite, I guess."

"Wow," Brandon says. He's not really sure what else to say.

"Sorry, that was a lot," Anders laughs. "For what it's worth, they're all very supportive and some of the best bros I've ever known."

"Oh, no, don't be sorry," Brandon says. "I'm glad they are, though. And, uh, it's a really cool name. Even better with context."

"Really?" Anders asks, and Brandon nods. "Huh," he says. "Maybe I'll have to tell the world someday. Only if I do make it, though."

"How will you know if you've made it?"

It's an honest question, and maybe asking it is a hint of projection. Brandon cringes a little at his use of "if" rather than "when"; he's been trying to think more positively lately, but to be fair, he's only just met Anders. He does have a good feeling about him as a person, yes, but he hasn't actually heard his music. For all he knows, it could be comically bad.

Anders shrugs. "I guess hearing my song on the radio would be a big sign. Or getting a nice apartment and paying the rent without a 'real job'."

"That really is the dream, isn't it?" Brandon says with a smile. "All of that plus a sold out show at Pepsi Center is all I really need in life."

"Where's that?"

"Denver," Brandon answers. "Where I'm from."

"You know, I can see that," Anders says.

The conversation tapers off after that, going from the outdoorsy life of Colorado to small talk to silence before finally, Anders' number is called. One more act, then he's up on the stage.

"Oh shit," he says. "This is the part where I find out whether they actually think I'm good or if I was just brought on as a joke."

It's surprisingly candid, but Brandon is learning that Anders is just like that. "Man, I feel you. But there's no way you're just a joke act. You seem too good for that."

"Thanks bro," Anders smiles. "But you haven't even heard my music."

"Are you saying you are a joke act?"

Anders wiggles his eyebrows, and Brandon surprises himself with how he almost can't stop laughing at him. Maybe he should be offering words of encouragement or telling him to practice his song one more time, but Anders is laughing, too, seems more at ease than anyone else Brandon's watched go on stage, and Brandon thinks that this might be a better approach.

The guy before him gets sent home with just one yes from the judges, and as he walks off fighting back tears, Anders is up. Brandon wishes him good luck as he wonders whether he should say anything to the other guy, but before he can make up his mind, Anders is at center stage.

One of the judges - _Meghan Duggan_ \- is the first to speak. "What's your name?"

Brandon managed to forget that they don't just go right up and start singing; that's what he gets for not paying attention all day.

"Two Tranz," Anders replies. "I'm going to be performing _Stacy's Mom_."

"Well, let's hear it!" This time, it's Julie Chu speaking, and Brandon's heart flutters a little. He wonders how he'll be able to handle seeing them all - he'd been so focused on Backes he forgot the other three judges are some of his favorite singers, especially Julie. He's not ashamed to say that her second album was the soundtrack to his gay awakening in eighth grade.

The music starts up, and at first, Brandon doesn't even recognize it. It's _Stacy's Mom_, yes, but the beat is a little different, more synth than guitar. Anders comes in to sing the intro, then gets right into the rap - and it's almost nothing like the original. The lyrics are the same, but he's added a lot more to them to fill out the time before the chorus, and Brandon knows instantly that the original version of the song will never sound as good as this does. It's incredible, and the crowd seems to think so too - he can hear the cheering from backstage.

He gets an easy "yes" from each of the judges, with Shannon Szabados being particularly into it - and while she's not _quite_ as hard to please as Backes, she's pretty damn close, so it's quite the feat. Brandon gets the feeling that his new friend is going to top the charts one day if he can do anything like that again.

"Fuck yeah broskis, that was sick!" Brandon watches Anders yell into the camera as he comes off the stage, and after he does a quick interview, he comes over to Brandon.

"Congrats man!"

Anders pulls him in for a hug, which Brandon wasn't expecting at all, but welcomes nonetheless.

"Holy shit, zeebs, I'm going to boot camp!"

He's absolutely over the moon, and just watching him fills Brandon with joy. His smile is infectious, and Brandon is sure he'd been a lot more nervous than he'd let on, so to see him do so well gives him hope.

"I'm so happy for you," Brandon says, and he really means it.

Shortly afterward, Anders breaks off for a little bit to text his friends and family and probably everyone he's ever met. He sends at least a hundred text messages before turning back to Brandon.

"Hey, we should keep in touch, yeah?"

"Yeah, we should," Brandon says. Anders gives him his number, and just like that, he figures their friendship is official.

"Say, what kind of music do you do? You knew I was a rapper, but I don't know what you are."

Brandon shrugs. "Well, I'm on in just under an hour, so you're going to find out."

"Yeah, okay," Anders laughs. "You just don't want to admit that you're a country singer."

"What?" Brandon nearly chokes on his laughter. "I-"

"You may not wear a cowboy hat, but I know all… _pardner_."

"I promise I'm not a country singer," Brandon says. Somehow, he doesn't think it'll be enough.

"Oh yeah? Prove it."

Just as he suspected. "Hm, no, I think it'll be best if you wait until my audition to see." He's just messing around at this point, really, but he's also not sure how best to say that he's a pop singer whose target audience is 12-year-old girls. There's nothing wrong with that - really, he thinks he can even be a good influence - but it's not exactly "cool". He's never cared much about being cool, but now that he's on TV, maybe he should.

Well, now that he _may_ be on TV. His audition probably won't be aired unless he makes it past boot camp, is close enough to be noteworthy, or is exceptionally bad. 

"You know, now I'm starting to suspect that you're actually just here to belt out some deathcore or, like, the _Pokémon_ theme song. The normie outfit is just an illusion, isn't it?"

"Wait and see, my friend, wait and see." Brandon doesn't miss the way Anders' eyes light up at his use of "friend".

He leaves it alone after that, and they watch several more performances while waiting for Brandon's turn. Most of them don't make it through; the only two who do are a guy their age named Trent who somehow manages to turn Aerosmith's _Love in an Elevator_ into a pop song and a middle-aged woman named Betty who does the best rendition of _Feeling Good_ that Brandon's ever heard. The act directly before him is a literal 13-year-old with hot pink scene hair who badly attempts to scream some Sleeping with Sirens song, and Brandon is pretty confident he'll be better than that, though he feels bad for the kid.

"You got this, bro," Anders says, patting him on the shoulder as he walks out onto the stage.

-

**SEPTEMBER 15, 2014 - DUBLIN, OHIO**

There are three distinct emotions that Brandon has come to associate with David Backes: admiration, from when he'd watch him on _American Idol_ and see just how gifted he is at finding and shaping musical talent; lust, from when he'd grown into himself and started watching compilations of his best moments in the dark of the night and when he'd faced him on the audition stage; and humility, from when he'd saved Brandon from the darkest moment of his life by putting him in a band with four friends that he thinks he'll be able to call brothers one day.

Here in Sean's basement three months after his audition, watching Backes on TV looking almost hungry as he watches Brandon sing, he's not quite sure what to feel. It probably just means that Backes thinks he'll make him lots of money - he knows he's attractive, and he's a good singer. For Backes to recognize that he has potential is a good sign of what's to come, he's sure.

It's about more than talent, though. Brandon wasn't even close to the best singer to perform in St. Louis that day, never mind the whole round of auditions. Hell, Backes didn't look anywhere near that excited watching Trent's audition; if anything, he'd seemed bored. And Trent’s in the same band Brandon is now in.

As far as Brandon knows, Backes is a straight man. Sure, he's not married, but he's dated women before. There's no reason to believe he'd been thinking about Brandon as anything other than a performer - a product, really.

But he doesn't know Backes very well.

"Man," Matt laughs, the sound drawing Brandon back into the present before anyone notices him drifting. "I still can't believe you went out there with a Big Time Rush song in 2014 and not only didn't get laughed off the stage, but actually killed it."

"Shut up," Brandon says, but he's smiling.

-

**JUNE 9, 2014 - ST. LOUIS, MISSOURI**

Stepping out onto the stage is the most terrifying thing Brandon has ever done. It doesn't get any easier when he sees the judges. The knowledge that Julie, Shannon, and Meghan must have earned $1 billion in record sales combined, the knowledge that Backes' label is probably worth just as much, the memories of watching all of them on TV or his laptop screen - it’s a lot.

"Hi there, what's your name?" Meghan's words bring him back to reality, and she's so kind that he feels a little better already.

"I'm Brandon Carlo," he says.

"And how are you?"

"I'm doing good," Brandon says, internally cursing himself for once again forgetting that he's supposed to say _well_. "How about you?"

"Oh, I'm great," Meghan smiles. "What'll you be singing for us tonight?"

"_Boyfriend_ by Big Time Rush," Brandon says, and something comes over the crowd. He's not sure whether it's mostly laughter or hushed whispers - probably both.

"Interesting choice," Backes chimes in. Brandon tries not to react and pretends not to notice Shannon raising an eyebrow.

"Well, let's hear it," Julie says, waving her hand. The music starts, and Brandon holds up the microphone, getting ready.

Once the pre-recorded background vocals end, he starts singing. He lets his voice shine on the chorus, going way outside the range of the original song, and the crowd seems to be loving it. Brandon can barely look at the judges; he's scared doing that will cause him to mess up, but he chances a look at their table to find that Julie and Meghan are smiling, Meghan even dancing a little, and Shannon - well, she's not frowning, anyway. There's something in Backes' eyes that Brandon can only think to describe as intense, and he's not sure what it means - doesn't have the time to dwell on it as he makes sure to remember all the lyrics and hit all the notes - but he thinks it's a good thing. He skips the second verse, going straight to the bridge before returning to the chorus, and once he finishes that, the music stops.

"Bravo," Meghan is the first to speak. "That was unbelievable."

"Thank you!" Brandon says, smiling.

"I admit I was skeptical," Julie says, "but you really made that song your own."

Brandon thanks her as well, and he's pretty sure he's never smiled this wide in his life.

Shannon doesn't look as impressed, still, and Brandon thinks it might be time to start worrying. "You have a good voice, but I don't know that it's really special. But I guess you don't have to be special to make it through this round."

"Thank you, but with all due respect, I hope I get the chance to prove you wrong," Brandon says, channeling the confidence so many artists seem to have in their auditions. His heart is pounding as he says it, but he keeps the smile on his face, and Shannon looks almost impressed, so he counts it as a win.

"I don't know what Shannon's on about," Backes chuckles. "You have something really, really special, and I see a bright future ahead for you. You've got the talent and the looks - the full package, and I don't say that to just anyone. It's a definite yes from me."

"Wow," Brandon is overwhelmed, both from Backes' words and from the realization that he's definitely going to get through to boot camp. "That means so much to me, thank you."

"I'm not as sold as he is, but I'll give you a yes," Shannon says with a slight smirk. "I hope to see you prove me wrong, kid."

"It's a yes from me, too," Julie says.

"And you get a fourth yes!" Meghan says. "You're going to boot camp!"

Brandon very much does not scream, but the noise he lets out isn't far from it. This is a huge step toward all of his life goals, and he's overcome with the realization that he really does have a chance. It's early still, and he's going to have to step outside his comfort zone with the song choices sooner rather than later, but he's close.

"I'll make sure you don't regret it," he says as he walks off the stage.

-

**SEPTEMBER 16, 2014 - DUBLIN, OHIO**

"Oh, that's rough, buddy," Brandon winces. It's the first time he's seen Matt's audition, and he knows it's at least partially staged, but Matt still looks like he's ready to die as Julie tells him _Just the Way You Are_ isn't the right song for him. None of the judges look particularly impressed, and Backes isn't even interested in giving him a second chance, but the women are all in favor.

"The producers literally told me to have two songs fully prepared and start with the one I liked the least and I _still_ nearly had a panic attack when that happened," Matt says. "Like, why me?"

He comes back strong with _Piece of My Heart_, and his voice has a certain roughness to it coupled with a great range that makes Brandon think he could easily make it as a solo artist. Really, he thinks any of them could, but he loves having someone to go through the competition with, and he's sure he'll love it if they make it as far as touring too. He's always wanted to be in a boy band, really; just never quite knew how to start his own. There's nothing bad about this situation in his eyes.

"Now that," Backes says on the TV, "was incredible. That edge to your voice is just what I wanted out of you when you walked on that stage, you know that? You're exactly what the world needs in an artist from Boston."

It's quite the turnaround, and it means even more considering that the audition was in Providence and Matt was nowhere near the only one from Boston. Just looking over at his wistful smile, Brandon can tell it still means the world to Matt.

They show Charlie's audition immediately afterward, and Brandon is positive that that choice was made deliberately. His doesn't get as much screentime, though. He gets a brief segment of his family being interviewed and telling the world how much they love him, along with a few pictures of him surfing followed by his actual audition. He sings _Little Black Dress_, and Brandon can practically see the money bags in Backes' eyes watching a cute young guy singing a One Direction song in front of him. It's an easy yes from all the judges, but it was really a pretty basic cover without any original spin put on it. Charlie does have a great voice, though. Brandon wonders whether Backes had already been scheming about putting a boy band together by that point. He's pretty sure they create one every season, so he probably had been.

He knows it's time for Sean's audition before they even show it on the screen. The TV in the basement is a little behind the one in the living room, and seconds after they all hear Sean's mom and brother scream, Sean comes up on the TV looking just a _little_ bit out of place. 

"Hi, I'm Sean Kuraly, and I'm here to bring emo into the mainstream," he says into the camera.

"Shut up," Matt chokes out between laughter. "You seriously said that?"

Sean turns a little pink, and Brandon has the feeling it's only going to get worse as his audition goes on. "Look, I just wanted to stand out, okay? I was planning on toning it down as the season went on."

"You just don't want anyone to find your Ryden fanfiction," Trent chimes in.

"Wait, you know what Ryden is?" Sean asks, but he doesn't get an answer as his past self walks onstage on the TV.

"Wow, that's quite the getup," Backes says in favor of an actual greeting. He's right, though. Sean is dressed in a dark red skull-printed button-down with a loose black tie, black skinny jeans that look painted on, and red and white checkered Vans. The thick black eyeliner really completes the look - he looks like he crawled out of a Hot Topic circa 2006. "What's your name, and what year is it?"

The audience roars with laughter at that point, and Matt scoffs. "I was there and they were nowhere near that loud; they totally turned up the audio."

"I didn't hear it at all," Charlie says, and it strikes Brandon for the first time how odd it is that with auditions in five different cities, two members of their band started in St. Louis while the other three started in Providence. "Maybe they just used a laugh track."

None of them say how it looks like they're setting Sean up to be one of the acts brought on purely for comedic value, but they all know it's the case. Thankfully, they also know that he makes it through anyway.

They play the laugh track again when Sean says he's going to play a Panic! at the Disco song - “Not a _real_ Panic song; it’s from the post-Ryan Ross era” - but as soon as the first few notes of _The Ballad of Mona Lisa_ play, the arena is finally quiet.

Sean makes it through the first verse without further incident, and the judges seem impressed, but once he makes it to the chorus, the arena explodes. He hits the notes and makes it look easy, and his stage presence is nothing like anyone would've expected. With an outfit like that, he should act like an awkward high school student who's never been on stage before, but he has the charisma of a seasoned best-selling artist. It's mesmerizing to watch, and Brandon kind of wishes he'd been in that audience.

He gets an enthusiastic yes from each of the judges, and it's quite the turnaround from what the audience had been primed to expect. Sean's family is cheering upstairs, and Brandon can't help but smile at how sweet that is.

"Well," Sean starts as the credits roll. "Now that we've seen all of ours, who had the best audition?"

"Oh, easy," Matt says. "It was obviously Charlie. You could literally see Backes forming his plan to bring us all together. Thanks for singing 1D, bro."

"You're so emo," Sean says, and they all know it's rich coming from him.

"I'm just going to say we all had great auditions, but our judges’ house performance was the best," Charlie chimes in. They won’t see that one on TV for another couple of weeks.

"Good answer," Trent says. "I think Sean's was the best, because it was both a great performance and the best entertainment value. But just going by performance, we all rock."

"Hell yeah man," Matt says. "What about you, Brandon?"

Brandon shrugs. "I really liked Trent's. I heard so many auditions that day, but even before we were put in a band together, I remembered yours."

"Aw," Trent says. "I'm touched."

"Well, my favorite was my own," Sean says. "Nah, I'm just kidding. I thought we were all amazing."

"Cop out," Brandon says, and Sean throws a couch pillow at him.

"I did also like Frankie's," Charlie says. "He's a guy from western Mass I met at the audition. He didn't make it through, though."

"Oh man, that's tragic," Matt says.

"I made friends with Anders - I mean, Two Tranz - at the audition," Brandon adds. "He's the coolest rapper you'll ever meet, and I can't wait to see him, like, win a Grammy next year."

"Real shit?" Trent says. "You gotta get us all together if we make it past this next round. His performance blew me away, dude. He's gonna go so far."

"I can't wait to see him," Sean adds. "Sounds iconic."

"He is," Brandon says. "He really, really is. They should air his audition next week, I'd think."

"Well, yeah," Matt says. "It's the last two audition episodes. Right before we leave for LA."

"I'm gonna get so tan," Trent beams.

"Yeah, yeah, you'd better show up to practice on time," Brandon says. "Wouldn't want Backes going after your ass."

"Please," Sean says. "It wouldn't be Backes. It'd be me."

"Point taken," Trent says. Brandon wonders whether this is supposed to sound like flirting, but he's pretty sure his mind is just in the gutter. Trent is literally the one straight guy in the band. "Backes is like our dad who I don't want to disappoint. Kinda weird since I actively try to disappoint my real dad, but I'll take it."

"Hey, don't we all?" Brandon adds, and they all laugh. That probably shouldn't be relatable humor, but such is life.

He's ready for LA, ready for the live shows, more ready than he ever thought he could be for something this huge. They have a great group of guys, and he wants nothing more than to make it through this competition with them at his side. He thinks - no, he knows they can do it.


	2. Boot Camp

**JULY 25, 2014 - MIAMI, FLORIDA**

Boot camp is just as terrifying as it sounds and then some. Brandon is infinitely grateful to have Anders by his side - without him, he'd be in this room of 120 contestants alone. Everyone here is supposed to be his enemy, with more than half of them about to be sent home, but he wants to see Anders succeed as badly as he wants to himself.

The entire thing is madness. Everyone's assigned to go off against each other one-on-one, and the time they have is so little that they can't even get through a verse and a chorus unless they're really short - it's one or the other. Brandon's already seen some really good talent get eliminated - Betty, for example, though he wonders if her age had anything to do with it. Anders goes up against a country singer who sounds like he should already have an album out, and looks like he probably has kids in high school, and Brandon is so scared for him, but he makes it. Brandon makes it, too, at least through the first round. His song - _Wanted_ by Hunter Hayes, sped up to sound more like a pop song - isn't getting quite the reaction he'd hoped. Sure, he's getting through, but it's getting to the point where he really needs to be blowing people away.

His voice falters very briefly the second time he sings it, and he thinks he makes up for it pretty well, but then his name isn't on the list they read out. Just like that, he's eliminated. 

Backes says something about him needing more confidence, and Brandon hears it but it sounds like he's underwater, struggling to breathe, drowning. His whole world is crashing down, and it's stupid because he knows this isn't the end for him. Liam didn't get into One Direction until his second attempt on the show, and really, there are other avenues to success besides reality television.

That doesn't stop the tears from falling. The cameras are gone before the worst of it, and Anders rushes him into the bathroom to get away from them. Brandon couldn't possibly be more thankful for him than in this moment.

"Hey, it's not the end," Anders says as Brandon cries into his shirt. "It sucks, I know, but you're young. You have time."

He knows it's true, but that doesn't make it any easier to believe. He's never heard of someone getting kicked off a reality show this early and actually making it.

"I'm going to have to go back home," Brandon manages to get out. "Get a job at McDonald's or, or - I don't know, a strip club?"

"Come on, zeebs," Anders says. The funny nickname almost makes him smile. Almost. "Your career isn't over just because of this show. Tons of people win this show and then don't go anywhere. All it is is exposure, and you've already got that."

It makes him feel a little better, but it's not quite enough. He's never going to get famous posting YouTube covers from Colorado. Maybe if he were a different kind of artist, but no one tries to find up-and-coming pop stars on YouTube. It's hopeless.

-

He'd been so caught up in the despair that he'd somehow managed to forget about the group assignments. Creating groups out of contestants eliminated during boot camp is what sets _The X Factor_ apart, and the possibility of a second chance is part of why Brandon had applied here rather than _American Idol_. 

One Direction is the other reason - the main one, if he's being honest. It's absolutely expected that they'll create a boy band or two before sending everyone home today. That's what the audience wants to see.

Still, he doesn't actually expect to hear his name called. He can't afford to set his hopes too high.

"We're giving nine of you a second chance," Backes announces. "You can choose to rejoin the show as a group, or you can opt out and face elimination. First up: Alex, Nicole, Maddie, and Katie, you'll be a group."

Brandon's more than a little jealous watching them all cry and hug each other even though they've probably never met. He really should've just left already; Anders had made him feel a little better, but coming so close to a second chance is just making things worse.

"We've got a boy band for you too," Backes says, and Brandon's heart starts to race. He wishes it wouldn't. "Charlie, Trent, Matt, Sean," Brandon feels the sting of disappointment already, even as there's still time for Backes to read a fifth name. "And Brandon."

He blacks out.

-

**SEPTEMBER 29, 2014 - DUBLIN, OHIO**

Watching himself cry on TV is weird, to say the least. It's even weirder that he doesn't really remember it. He remembers being overwhelmed with relief, and he knows they came off the stage with a band name, but he doesn't actually know who suggested it. It can't have been him.

"We're so cute." Sean says it like it's a joke, but Brandon's pretty sure he means it. They're all hugging like they've won the lottery or the jackpot on _Jeopardy_, but, well, they may as well have.

"I don't know, man, that sounds pretty gay," Matt says, and they all laugh.

"Hell yeah, bro," Trent says.

"Speaking of which," Sean chimes in. "Who wants to bet we all get fake girlfriends by week 3?"

"That wouldn’t even be realistic for a group of straight guys, bro," Charlie says. "And you can't assume we make it that far."

Brandon sure hopes they do.

The TV is showing the aftermath of the boy band news now, all of them staying behind to get to know each other while everyone else starts to file out. They hadn't been allowed to leave until they thought of a band name, and the camera crew captured their weak attempts at coming up with one.

"We could combine our initials," Trent had suggested. "Uh… TSBCM?"

"That's terrible," Sean had said. "What about something more simple? Like, Sun and Moon?"

"There are five of us," Matt had said.

In the present day, Matt protests "They cut out my line!"

"What'd you say again?" Brandon asks.

"He said we're not all Ryden stans," Charlie says, looking right at Sean. He's blushing. One day, Brandon's going to have to ask what Ryden is, but it doesn't feel like the right time.

Besides, the TV is getting to the good part.

"Hey, I don't know," Brandon had apparently said. "Why don't we just name ourselves after, like, right now? Like the feeling, you know?"

"Hm, maybe," Trent had said. "And what is that feeling?"

"It's like, Christmas morning,” Matt had said. “An endless holiday.” Sean screamed and pulled him in for a hug.

"That's perfect!"

"Yeah, yeah, I love it!" Charlie had said.

"Sounds great," Brandon added.

"Then it's settled," Trent announced, looking into the camera dramatically. "This has been the X Factor, and we are An Endless Holiday."

"Ew, no, no, try again," Sean says. "Actually, no, just let me do this." The camera pans to him and zooms in dramatically. "This has been the X Factor, and we are Endless Holiday."

The picture fades out, but the sounds of the others agreeing that that sounds better play over the beginning of the end credits before it cuts to commercials.

"We got this," Charlie says, looking around the room. "I've been on many sports teams in my life, and I've never believed in any of them as much as I believe in this team."

"Aw," Trent says. "Don't make me cry, bro."

"Too late," Matt announces, and sure enough, his eyes look a little red.

"This is going to be good," Brandon promises even though he can't actually promise anything. "We're going to be good."

-

**JULY 26, 2014 - MIAMI, FLORIDA**

The morning after they’re put in the band, Backes shows up at their hotel for an impromptu meeting. Brandon, thankfully, is an early riser, but Trent wears pajamas for their first meeting with their new mentor.

"I'm sure your future fans will find it charming," Backes waves it off. "I'm sure they'll make tons of mee-mees about pajama boy Trent."

"Mee-mees?" Charlie asks. "You mean memes?"

Brandon tries not to laugh, but the second he looks at Matt turning slightly blue in the face, he can't help it. As soon as he breaks, everyone else does too.

"Well," Backes chuckles, "I didn't grow up with those, you know. Anyway. I called this meeting to make sure you guys have a plan for preparing for the next round."

"Oh, yeah, I got the ticket to Cabo in my inbox this morning," Matt says, still a little breathless from trying to hold in his laughter. "Great spot, my friend Jimmy goes there a lot."

"Good, good, I’m glad you're on top of checking your emails at the crack of dawn and I’m glad you're so much of a Boston stereotype you actually have a friend named Jimmy, but that's not what I meant," Backes says. Matt goes red this time. Brandon hopes he doesn't have to see any more colors from him; he's pretty sure that would be, like, bad. "You guys just met, what, last night?"

"Yeah, pretty much," Sean confirms.

"And you'll be performing at my house in Cabo a month from tomorrow," Backes says.

"Huh, yeah, we should probably make a plan," Trent states the obvious. "I'm not actually sure I know everyone's name yet."

"Thanks," Brandon deadpans. Trent just smiles at him.

"I think you guys need to get to know each other," Backes continues. "Who has enough room in their house?"

"Not me," Brandon and Matt say at the same time. They exchange a look, though Brandon doesn't really think they're on the same page. Matt's just from the city; it's not quite the same as having a rock star dad who'd never let an actual boy band in his "fairy-free" home. It sounds absurd, but so is Brandon's life.

"I mean, if anyone's cool with sleeping on the floor?" Trent offers.

"Uh, yeah, no," Backes says. "Sean or Charlie, then?"

Sean shrugs. "I could do it," he says. "Ohio's pretty boring, but my mom's cool."

"I've got room, too," Charlie says. "Long Island. We could go surfing and explore the city and-"

"Ohio it is," Backes interrupts. "You get the first two weeks free, but after that you're going to spend all your time together at Sean's house in Ohio and become the bestest of friends. Come up with a song, too, and get in at least one practice. You'll have time for more in Cabo."

-

**AUGUST 11, 2014 - DUBLIN, OHIO**

The first night at Sean's house is really just the first middle school sleepover Brandon's ever been to. It's not quite as gay as his dad always said they are, though things could change quickly if someone breaks out Spin the Bottle.

They make it through Never Have I Ever and 20 Questions without a hitch - well, unless Charlie insisting that they call it 21 Questions since "Can we play 20 Questions?" apparently counts as a question could be called a hitch - but Truth or Dare gets weird quickly.

Trent is the first to go, and he picks dare. "Post your phone number on Twitter, leave it up for 15 seconds, and then delete it," Sean challenges him.

He does it, and no one actually texts him, so Brandon knows they're not famous yet.

It's not long before Brandon's turn, and since Trent is the one challenging him, he's not sure he wants to risk a dare.

"Have you ever called someone other than your father 'daddy'?"

Brandon wishes he'd picked dare. Sean and Matt are laughing, though, so at least they're having fun.

"I-" He doesn't want to tell the truth, but he can't exactly lie. "I… yeah. I guess."

"You guess?" Sean asks.

"I mean, you know, uh… once or twice." He's had some weird exes. That's all.

"Wow," Trent shakes his head. "Incredible. No judgment here, bro, just getting to know each other."

"Well, hey, Trent, truth or dare?" Charlie asks.

"Truth," Trent says almost immediately.

"Have you ever called someone other than your mother 'mommy'?"

This time, they all laugh, even Trent. His face is completely red, though, so Brandon's pretty sure he's not the only one with some weird secrets. Well, not that they're secrets anymore.

"Yeah," Trent admits. "It's happened."

Eventually, they stop teasing each other and start talking about musical influences, and it's nice. Brandon's the only one who's really set on pop, though of course they all appreciate it. Sean's more of a "recovering emo", as he puts it, and he claims he's only recovering because his audition had been a little too much. Charlie and Matt are more into pop rock and rap, while Trent is a big country fan with a soft spot for pop. None of them are fixated on one genre, though; they're fans of all the classics and then some. They'll work well together, he's sure.

Brandon's amazed at how much he already knows all of them. They've come a long way from Trent not knowing their names, and it's only up from here. At least, he certainly hopes so.

The next round is a weird one, considering that it involves staying at one of Backes' vacation homes while working with him as a coach and ultimately performing for him and whichever celebrity he chooses as his assistant, but if they make it through, they're in a great position. If they make it through, they'll make it to the voting rounds - and given that they're a boy band and at least half the Americans watching this show are hipster One Direction stans who want to be able to say they've followed the next big band since the beginning, Brandon likes their chances.

As excited as he is to spend two weeks getting to know his bandmates, he's ready to get this show on the road and show Backes what they're made of.


	3. Judges' Houses

**AUGUST 25, 2014 - CABO SAN LUCAS, MEXICO**

Brandon loved spending time at Sean's house, but the private limo to Backes' tropical vacation home feels much more familiar. He's not sure he'd call it comfortable, but familiar.

He isn't expecting TJ Oshie to be the first to greet them when they get to the house. The former-NHL-player-turned-pop-singer isn't really Brandon's type, but all the guys his age he's hooked up with have had posters of him on their walls. Brandon once had a printout of Backes on his wall. It probably says a lot about him.

"Hey, you're that new boy band, yeah? Endless Holiday? Cool name."

Brandon's a little starstruck, if he's being totally honest, but it seems like the rest of the band is too.

"Oh, uh, wow, hey, uh, TJ, yeah, wow, um, great to meet you man, uh, huge fan…" Trent doesn't stop rambling for a solid minute, but TJ seems entertained.

"Great to meet you, bro. I bet you guys are gonna be great, yeah? Like, the American One Direction, but cooler. More rock, probably. I can see it already," TJ says.

It's a lot to take in, and Brandon gets the sense that he's the only one in the band who doesn't have a crush on this guy. Including Trent.

"Wow, that's a high compliment," Brandon laughs. "Thank you man, really. We appreciate it. Can't wait to perform for you and then you'll really see."

TJ laughs, too. "Oh, you bet."

-

The next few days are a blur of practice, swimming, practice, tanning, practice, good food, and practice. It's a great place to stay for a few days, and the company makes it even better. Friends, yeah, those are nice, and he loves spending time with the guys, but he really doesn't mind seeing Backes walking around in the sun without a shirt on, either. 

It doesn't mean anything. It's just the remnants of a dumb teenage crush. Once he spends more time with Backes - and he will, because if they don't make it to the end, he doesn't know what he's going to do with his life - it'll go away. It's not even a dumb crush, really; Backes is just hot. Brandon has eyes that work.

Maybe most people wouldn't agree with that statement, but whatever. It's not like Backes being hot is distracting Brandon from what really matters here.

The performance comes sooner than he'd thought it would, but he feels prepared. He knows they've all worked their asses off in practice, and the calm waves and bright sun help him relax. They're going to be great.

They're playing _Bang Bang_, the pop anthem that, in Brandon's humble opinion, is going to define 2014. It'd been Sean's suggestion, surprisingly enough, and he starts it off with Jessie J's first verse.

It's just as hot as it had been in practice. Brandon has a _really_ good feeling about this group, he thinks as he and Matt come in for the background vocals.

They all join in for the chorus, and they've already come a long way in harmonizing. There's work to be done without a doubt, but they sound good. It's a good performance, made even better when Brandon comes in for Ariana's verse.

Maybe he's biased; maybe he just loves the sound of his own voice. He must if he'd been crazy enough to drive ten hours listening to it on repeat. Singing Ariana's lines feels easy and natural. His voice is great for her range, though it's nowhere near as high.

Backes' face is mostly obscured by his sunglasses, but Brandon doesn't miss the way he wrings his hands and crosses his legs. It looks casual, but he wonders if it really is.

"Well, now _that_ was incredible," Backes says once they finish. Brandon wishes they could've had Matt come in for Nicki's verse like they did in practice the first time, but they're only allotted two minutes and they're not trying to be a rap boy band. He's not sure Matt would be confident enough to land that verse live, anyway.

They make it through. From what Brandon can tell, they were one of the easiest choices, alongside the two duos: Padagos and Dig In. Dig In, two guys named Charlie and Chris who Brandon is 90% sure are fucking, did a cover of _Take Me Home, Country Roads_ that even Brandon has to admit was incredible, and he can't stand country music. Padagos, two girls named Maddie and Hayley, somehow managed to make _Tennis Court_ sound better than Lorde did. Brandon really hadn't thought that was possible.

The competition is going to be steep - and this isn't even counting Stan Talent, the girl group that had been put together at the same time as Endless Holiday - but they're up for the challenge.


	4. Live Shows - Week One

**WEEK ONE - OCTOBER 6, 2014 - LOS ANGELES, CALIFORNIA **

Move-in really isn't as difficult as Brandon had envisioned it. It's not like he's moving into his new LA home; it's just a hotel. He only has one suitcase - he usually brings two on family vacations. All the clothes he'll need for performance are going to be supplied for him, so he doesn't need a whole lot.

Unpacking doesn't take too long, and his parents must have anticipated this. The FaceTime call comes up almost as soon as Brandon sits down on the bed to relax. He doesn't really want to answer, but he knows they'll get mad if he doesn't.

"Brandon!" His mom seems happy to see him, anyway.

"Hey guys," he greets. "Move-in went well."

"Feels like we haven't talked to you in forever," his dad says. Brandon would never say it, but that's kind of ideal.

"Well, you know, I've been busy," Brandon shrugs. "Had to practice a lot, and I have to spend a lot of time with my bandmates. Bonding, you know, building chemistry so we actually sound good together. I want to make this work."

"Bonding?" His dad laughs. "Sounds like something for f-"

"Honey," his mom admonishes him, but there's no real feeling behind it. "Can't we all just relax and chat? This is an important milestone for Brandy."

"I wish you wouldn't call me that," he says. It's directed at both of them, really.

"I think I'd rather have you slaving away in construction or, I don't know, a fucking McDonald's than that gay-ass boy band. Something to make you a real man."

Brandon doesn't respond. He's not sure how to.

His dad doesn't miss a beat. "Hey, how's this? When your group of queers gets voted off, probably in the first week or two, I'll set up a Shredded reunion tour and take you on as an opener. I'll get you a backing band and ghost writers and everything. You'll get plenty of pussy, probably some hard drugs. It'll be a life-changing experience for you."

"Uh, I'm - I'm good, thanks."

His dad laughs. "Don't expect any help from me when you flop off the show."

With that, he hangs up. Brandon wonders if his mom wanted to say goodbye.

-

Crying in the hotel room less than two hours after moving in is pretty far from how Brandon wanted to start his live show experience. At least it's only uphill from here. Hopefully.

He gets a text from Backes before he's finished crying, but it seems urgent enough that he wills himself to stop so he can look presentable. He puts on sunglasses for good measure. Backes asked him to meet him on the sundeck on the roof, so he won't even look out of place.

"Hey Brandon," he greets. "How are you doing?"

"Great!" He lies. "I'm so excited to get started. Being here is a little surreal, honestly."

"Well, I'm glad to hear that," Backes smiles. "I really loved your performance back in Cabo, you know. Not just the band, but you."

If his heart stops for a moment, he blames it on the stress. "Oh? I, well, uh, thank you."

"You're going to be a star," he says. "I think you've got a great group going, and I think young girls are going to love you. Gay guys too, probably. The band will be a great launching pad for your career."

"Launching pad?" Addressing anything else in that statement feels like too much right now.

"Well, you know, boy bands don't last forever. But you'll have a good run, enough to build up a huge, loyal fanbase. Then you'll all go solo, as happens with bands like yours, and I know you'll be the successful one. There's only ever one."

It seems like a lot to be telling him in their first real one-on-one meeting. How is he supposed to approach the rest of the band after hearing this? Is he supposed to act better, like he knows he'll one day be more valuable than them? It feels like something his dad would tell him. He's not going to think about it. He can't.

"I mean, you know," Backes continues. "You have the best voice, I'd say. Certainly the most suited for solo work, anyway. And you're, well, not to be weird, but you're very hot. You'll be the favorite of the band."

"Um. Thanks, that's, uh…"

"I know it's awkward," Backes chuckles. "I'm just telling you all this so you don't get blindsided when it happens. You probably shouldn't tell the others I told you, but it could be worth bringing up sometime. See if they come to that conclusion themselves." Brandon definitely isn't going to do that. It's ridiculous. "Anyway, you're going to be great, boy. You already are. You've got everything it takes, and I know the crowd's going to be into it."

"Well, uh, wow, that's, um, really great. Thank you."

Backes lets him go after that, but Brandon doesn't miss the way he watches him leave. He _is_ wearing his tightest pair of jeans today, but - this is _David Backes_. There's no way he'd be into him. He's, like, at least 40.

Sometimes Brandon lets his mind wander to places it shouldn't. That's all this is. That's all.

-

He doesn't plan on telling anyone - there's no reason to, really. It's nothing. But a few margaritas have nothing on his resolve to keep things quiet.

"You think - _what_?" Sean's voice cracks a little. Maybe it's not a great sign if he hadn't been expecting Brandon to bring this up.

"I mean, he was definitely staring at my ass earlier," Brandon giggles. Maybe he's drunk. "And he told me all this stuff about how I'm, like, the sexiest guy in the band, and all the girls and gays are gonna love me, and-"

"Wait, hold up, dude, slow down. He called you sexy?"

Brandon nods. "Or hot. I don't know. Can't think right now."

"Let's go back to your room," Sean suggests, and Brandon isn't in a position to argue.

Sean supports him on the walk back, and it's a little much, really. They're just going from the hotel bar to the eighth floor, and Brandon is perfectly capable of walking. Just not capable of keeping his mouth shut.

"Okay, let's unpack that," Sean says once Brandon's settled on his bed. "You think Backes - like, David Backes, record label extraordinaire and our literal mentor, is into you? Like, wants to fuck you?"

"Yep!"

"Uh, okay, yeah, that's. A lot."

"Well, you think I'm right?"

Sean sighs. "Yeah, I don't know, maybe? I'll have to pay more attention and see what I think. But that's not what really matters here."

"What does?"

"I mean," Sean starts and stops a few times, like he's trying to figure out how to say this. Brandon waits, not especially patient due to the alcohol. "If he _is_ into you, that's not - I don't know if that's totally healthy, you know? Like, he's a lot older than you, and he's in a position of power over you. If he wanted to, like, do something to hurt you, it'd be pretty easy for him. Like, people would believe him over you, if it came down to it. You realize this, right?"

Brandon frowns. "I guess."

"I just don't want you to get hurt," Sean says. It's sincere, and Brandon kind of wants to cry. He feels a lot more sober now. "Don't do anything you're not 100% comfortable with."

"I won't," Brandon says.

"Do you promise?"

"Yeah," Brandon says. He means it, he thinks. "I promise."

"Okay," Sean says. "That's good. I'm glad. You know, if something happens that you aren't comfortable with, or even if nothing does and you just can't take being in the same room as him, or anything else, we'll back you up. I believe the whole band will, anyway, but even if not, I'm here for you. No matter what. Even if it means quitting the show. I'll always choose you over him, you get me?"

Brandon's crying for real this time, for the second time today. Sean looks a little lost, so Brandon scoots closer to him until he throws an arm around his shoulder. It's nice, warm. Comforting.

"I'm here for you," Sean says. "Even if you want to hook up with Backes or whatever. Whether you do or don't, and you don't have to know now. I wouldn't expect you to know now."

"Thank you," Brandon says. It doesn't really feel like enough - Sean's done a lot for someone who hasn't known him very long in the grand scheme of things - but he doesn't know what else to say. It's been a common theme in his life lately.

"Whatever happens, we'll go through it together. We're basically brothers now."

"Yeah," Brandon smiles. "Brothers."

-

The live show routine is pretty standard. Each week starts on Wednesday with a meeting with Backes to choose their song, followed by practice, practice, food, practice, recording testimonials for the producers, more practice, and sleep. Sometimes, they'll leave the hotel to explore the city, but mostly they just practice. It's a little tiring, but Brandon knows it's necessary. He's not sure whether or not he likes that Backes isn't even with them for half of their practice time. 

With Monday comes their performance. He's pretty sure he should be nervous, but all the practice has left him confident he could sing _Party in the USA_ in his sleep. He probably has without even realizing. Sure, it's a little different being on a stage in front of a few thousand people physically and potentially millions digitally, but he doesn't have to think about it.

And he doesn't - at least not consciously. The nerves kick in once Endless Holiday actually gets on the stage, and he doesn't even notice when Matt comes in for the first verse until he's on the second line. Distantly, Brandon thinks it's funny to hear him sing about a cardigan when he'd never be caught dead wearing one.

His verse is over all too quickly, and it's time for Brandon to come in. He doesn't look at Backes the whole time, and he's sure he looks terrified despite his attempt at dancing, but he nails the vocals. The high notes on "crazy" and "famous" gave him some trouble in the first few practices, but they come almost naturally this time.

Trent comes in for the pre-chorus before they all join together, and once the chorus hits, Brandon is amazed. He doesn't have to focus as hard on remembering these lyrics, and he notices that they've come a long way in being able to harmonize. It's kind of beautiful.

The judges think so too, and it's a good sign. A great sign.

Being able to sit on the sidelines for the sudden death elimination round is nice. It's good to be secure. Still, Brandon already feels bad watching Backes ask 15-year-old Jack Hughes to please delete his Vine account and never rap again. Julie gives him a dirty look, but she chooses 13-year-old indie singer Yi Zhou over him anyway.

"Oof," Matt laughs. Brandon nudges him. "What? That was embarrassing."

"Doesn't mean you need to say it," Brandon says. "There could be hidden cameras. And, like, people might bully him for that?"

"Meh, I'm sure it's fine," Trent adds. "He'll be a god probably. Just for being on TV at all, you know?"

"No, he wouldn't know," Sean says. He clasps his hands together as if going to pray. "He was homeschooled."

It makes them all laugh loud enough to get a dirty look from the producer, and Brandon almost misses Stan Talent being eliminated in favor of Dig In. It's a shame, really; they'd all been fun to hang out with in Cabo, though he's happy for Sean. He'd gotten along really well with Chris, and more time together should be good for them both.

39-year-old Tony is sent home by Meghan in favor of Madison, too, and while Brandon doesn't disagree with the decision, he's going to miss the guy's wild stories about his kids.

The last showdown is between Karson Kuhlman and Connor Clifton, and Brandon aches a little at how painful this decision clearly is for Shannon. She's stalling, not wanting to pick between the two talented young country singers, and Brandon is weirdly invested. He hasn't even met either of them, but Connor has the best stage energy he's ever seen in an artist, and Brandon's not into country at all.

Shannon chooses to keep Connor, and Brandon feels a little guilty for being happy. Just a little.


	5. Live Shows - Week Two

**WEEK TWO - OCTOBER 15, 2014 - LOS ANGELES, CALIFORNIA**

"Alright, boys, you did great Monday. The performance was excellent and the people loved it. But now it's the first week of themes," Backes tells them. It's time for their Wednesday morning meeting to kick off Week 2.

"Is that a bad thing?" Sean asks. "Themes are fun. Especially when costumes are involved."

Backes chuckles. "I'm afraid there won't be any costumes, kiddo. The one bit of constructive feedback I was going to give you all was that you're going to need to show some more range. Go outside of your comfort zones; don’t just stick to modern pop songs. And this week's theme is perfect for that."

"Rap?" Trent guesses.

"Metal?" Charlie tries.

"Country?" Brandon offers.

"Anime theme songs?" Everyone gives Sean a weird look, then turns to look expectantly at Matt.

"Oh, I don't know," he shrugs. "Motown?"

"Bingo!" Backes grins and claps. "One of my personal favorites."

Brandon really isn't sure how to feel about this. Motown is cool, and the songs can be pretty versatile; he's excited to see what they come up with. But one of Backes' favorites this early on? The stakes are high, but he supposes that's just the business of the show.

"I don't think I, like, know a Motown song," Charlie admits.

"Well, good thing I have the perfect song for you," Backes says. "_Ain't No Mountain High Enough_. Marvin Gaye and Tammi Terrell. It's fun, it's iconic, it's catchy, it works great in a group setting. You'll nail it."

"Wait, is that the song from _Remember the Titans_?" Charlie asks.

"See, you do know it," Matt says. "Great song. I'm down."

"I mean, it's good," Brandon agrees. "What about _My Girl_?"

"Oh, yeah, that's a good one," Trent backs him up. Brandon is only mildly surprised that he knows it.

"Mm, no," Backes says with an air of finality. "Far too basic. Do you know how many boy bands have covered that song?"

"Uh, more than two?" Trent answers, missing that it had clearly been a rhetorical question.

"Great! Glad that's settled. Now let's get started learning it," Backes says, and the conversation transitions into figuring out who gets to sing which part and how they're going to arrange it. Brandon is admittedly a little spaced out.

He knows Backes is their mentor, and their path to success, and sure, he has a lot of experience in the industry. The man's a genius. Brandon knows this, and he respects him, but - well. He doesn't want Backes to own them.

If he can't stop thinking about Backes, it's because he's stressed. The competition is a lot to handle, after all, and it's hard to find the balance between standing up for yourself and knowing when to defer to authority, even harder when he's never really had the chance to stand up for himself.

If he can't stop thinking about Backes when he's jerking off that night, well, it's probably just the stress. 

-

By Week 2, most of the contestants have gotten a little more comfortable. Of course, they all know they could be eliminated in a few days, but at least they're used to the routine by now. Brandon's surprised to see that they're the last ones to leave the practice rooms on Saturday - it's only 6pm - but then again, it's Saturday, they're in LA, and there's no shortage of better things to do than practice. 

"Can't believe Sean ditched us," Matt pouts. They're walking back to the hotel after having gone out for pizza, and Sean left the pizza place early to go out to a club with Chris and Charlie. "Just because he's the only one who can drink doesn't mean he can't take us with him. I look 21, right?"

"Yeah, of course you do," Trent assures him. "I mean, you have a fake, right? You could just go out?"

Matt shrugs.

"Why don't we all do something?" Charlie suggests.

They all agree that it's a good idea, but no one knows what they want to do, so they go back to scrolling through social media in relative silence together. It's not bad or awkward, but Brandon really doesn't need to add to this Pinterest board and he doesn't have the mental capacity to create a new one. The sound of Charlie watching the same Vine on loop is almost getting to the point of being annoying; another few minutes and Brandon might have to ask him to put headphones in.

Eventually, he's saved by a text.

_U busy?_ It's Anders.

_Not at all_, he shoots back. Maybe his Saturday night is about to get somewhat interesting. Anders has that effect.

_Do u want to come watch keepin up with the kardsahsions wit me or should i come to the lounge_

Brandon thinks about filing that typo away to use against him later, but that would be admitting that he knows how to spell Kardashian.

_Yeah come over_, he sends. He knows Anders has met the rest of Endless Holiday, but he doesn't think the guys really know him that well. This should be fun.

Anders does come to the lounge, and his presence is enough to get the guys to look up from their phones. He starts talking about his song choice of the week - _The Tears of a Clown_ \- and how he almost has more fun reimagining songs like this that weren't ever meant to be rapped than he does actually writing lyrics. He has an uncanny ability to liven up the room that Brandon can't help but admire.

"So are you doing a whole cover tour? That'd be dope," Charlie says.

"Oh fuck yeah," Anders says. "I'll call it the Down With Cis Tour. And I'll go from place to place on the Down With Cis bus."

Brandon absolutely loses it - they all do. Brandon's not entirely sure if Matt is actually breathing.

"Anyway, I'd obviously get Endless Holiday to open up for me…" Anders keeps going on about his dream tour, going from the setlist lengths to the venue sizes and the encores. Matt almost loses it again when Anders says he'd totally end his set with a cover of _Call Me Maybe_.

It's nice to relax for a while, Brandon thinks. Finding time for it is only going to get harder as the competition goes on, and he doesn't even know how long he'll be on it. No one does.

Moments like this remind him to take things one day at a time. He's here, the band is getting exposure, and he's building the best friendships he's ever had. He doesn't need much else. 

-

The song goes well. The crowd goes crazy and the judges all give them raving reviews. 

"Your ability to take a genre so different than your own and really turn it into your own unique style is exactly what makes you more than a boy band," Shannon tells them. Brandon's heart is maybe exploding a little.

They have no trouble securing a spot in next week's show, so the viewers on TV must have loved it too.

It still doesn't feel quite right to Brandon. He doesn't have any issues with the song; it's a good one and he knows they performed it well. Really, Backes was right; it suits them.

He just wishes he had more control, he supposes, but in this industry, he's not sure if that will ever be possible.

The thought isn't comforting.


	6. Live Shows - Week Three

**WEEK THREE - OCTOBER 22, 2014 - LOS ANGELES, CALIFORNIA**

"Alright boys, it's 80s week," Backes announces. "Are you even old enough to know any 80s songs?"

"Well, actually-" Charlie starts, but Backes cuts him off.

"Relax, relax, I'm kidding," he laughs. "But you didn't know Motown, so really, is it that bad to assume?"

"The 80s are more popular," Sean offers.

"Fair enough," Backes shrugs. "How are we feeling about Madonna? I’m thinking _Vogue_ would be a good one. Really fun."

The guys look at each other, Sean grimacing, and Trent shrugs. No one seems too enthusiastic.

"I don't think so," Brandon says, feeling his heart rate increase immediately. Backes raises an eyebrow. "I mean, Madonna? We can do better than that."

"Yeah, I agree," Sean wastes no time in saying.

"Same," Charlie adds. "Let's do something more… us."

"New Kids on the Block?" Backes asks.

"Nah," Brandon says, looking Backes in the eyes. He seems slightly taken aback. "I was thinking of a song we could make more our own. Maybe _Africa_ by Toto."

"Oh fuck yeah," Trent says. "I support that."

The others all agree, and Brandon looks back at Backes expectantly.

"I mean, sure, you can do that," Backes says. "I don't think it's the best choice for you, but I'm not going to force you to do something you don't want to do."

"So, _Africa_ it is?" Matt asks.

"Let's do it," Brandon says. It's probably going to take extra work to prove that this is a good idea, but he wants Backes to know that he's not the only one who can pick a good song. It's worth the effort. 

-

"So why'd you do that?" Sean asks as they're walking back to their rooms. The others have gone their own way, probably toward the kitchen. 

Brandon pauses for a moment before replying. "I guess I was just tired of him picking songs for us. Like, we're artists, let us have some creative freedom, you know?"

"Yeah, no, I get that," Sean says. "I wasn't wild about it either, but, I don't know, I figured it was normal for this show. Like, we can be creative later, I guess."

"I mean, maybe it is normal," Brandon says. "But if we win this show, I don't want it to be because of Backes. I want it to be because of us."

Sean nods. "I mean, same. That's a really good point, honestly. Like, if we win because of him, what does that really say about our potential for success, you know? Not much."

"Exactly!"

"You sure that's it, though?" Sean asks. It doesn't sound like much of a question.

"What are you getting at?"

"I think you know," Sean says. Brandon really doesn't. "I mean, I don't know, I know you've had some complicated feelings about the guy, and - well. I did say I would pay more attention."

Now Brandon's starting to get it, but he's not sure he wants to.

"He seemed… weirdly into being challenged by you," Sean continues with a grimace. "I mean, sure, sometimes teachers get like that when their students offer alternate viewpoints because it enriches the class discussion or whatever the fuck, and maybe it's just like that. But it still seemed weird, you know?"

"Yeah, no, that's…" Brandon isn't sure what to say.

"Hey, it's alright. We'll nail the song, and what I said to you before still stands. I'm here for you, and I'll back you up in anything you bring up while he's in the room."

"So if you disagree…?"

"I'll bring it up with you privately," Sean shrugs. "It's more important to make sure he sees that we're all close, you know? Wouldn't want to give him any reason to not want us to win the show. Even if he does something to you that you aren't comfortable with, we're not letting him make that decision. We'll quit."

Once again, Brandon doesn't know what to say. "I really appreciate you, man," he settles for.

"We're in this together," Sean says. "Always."

-

It's a great week for performances. Anders absolutely kills his rap cover of _Thriller_, Maddie and Hayley do the best rendition of _Love Shack_ that will ever exist in the world, and even Billy Bob Burns does a pretty convincing country cover of _Come On Eileen_. 

Somehow, it seems like everyone has their best performance yet _except_ for Endless Holiday. Which is, of course, not what they want to see in Week 3. Or ever.

It's not a surprise to hear that they're up for elimination on Tuesday, after the voting results come in. That means they're headed back to the stage for one more song to try to save themselves in a sudden death elimination showdown. It's between them and Dig In, and whichever group isn't chosen by the judges will be eliminated.

They have a song prepared for this exact purpose, everyone does, but Brandon's freaking out. This is all his fault - if he'd just listened to Backes, they wouldn't be in this position. He wouldn't be forcing Sean to compete against his new friends for the sake of staying on the show.

"Okay, okay, we have ten minutes," Sean says. They're all freaking out a little, but he's usually the one who can ground them. He shouldn't have to this time. "It's going to be okay. The judges get to pick, and. God, I hate this. I don't want to- fuck. Why does it have to be one of us?"

"I'm sorry," Brandon says. "I should've just - I'm-"

"Dude, it's okay, I don't blame you," Sean says. "I don't think any of us do."

"Definitely not," Charlie adds. "We all backed you up. I mean, I know I didn't want to sing a fucking Madonna song. I was just too afraid to say anything."

"Same," Trent adds. "We're in this together. Maybe in the future, we can suggest the songs but make sure Backes, like, approves still. But no one's mad at you, Brandon. We all agreed with you."

"And we're about to kill this song," Matt says. "We've practiced this more than I ever studied in high school, and I did graduate."

It's a lame attempt at a joke, but it does make them all laugh a little. "You went to a vocational school and studied construction," Trent chirps him.

"Still should've studied," Matt laughs. Brandon's glad he can laugh about it; when they'd been at Sean's house getting to know one another, he had seemed anxious to say that he works in construction. Charlie and Trent both planned to start college in the fall, though now they're on the show instead, and Sean's already a senior at Miami. Brandon has yet to work a real job, and if his dad didn’t hate him he’d never have to.

"It's alright, guys," Matt reassures them all. "We're going to make it."

"Fuck yeah we are," Sean says. "Look. We're going to kill the performance. And maybe Chris and Charlie will too, I don't know, but we have something they don't."

"What's that?" Trent asks.

"Widespread appeal to the viewers of this show," Sean says. "Sure, they didn't vote enough this week, but we're definitely the only act on this show that has fan accounts on Twitter putting ‘1 out of 5’ in their bio when one of us follows them. Trust me; I've searched thoroughly."

He has a point. It's up to the judges now, not the audience. Brandon's pretty sure none of the judges are actually all that interested in country music beyond its ability to sell. If anything, they'll have Backes' vote, and if they can just convince one of the other judges - Julie, maybe - they'll be all set. Maybe it's a bit dangerous to assume they'll have Backes' vote when the other act is one of his as well, but Brandon's confident.

Patrice - the host of the show - announces their name on the stage, and they're given the signal to go on. It's do or die, and Brandon swallows his nerves as best as he can. He's up first.

He launches into the first verse of _Problem_ by Ariana Grande, and while his voice still isn't quite as high as hers, his falsettos draw screams from the crowd. He thinks it's working. He hopes.

Matt takes over the pre-chorus, turning it into something a bit edgier and lower than this song's probably ever been before. Brandon dares a glance at the judges and sees that Julie and Shannon are both smiling and nodding. A good sign, probably. Backes has already seen this performance before, but Meghan seems entranced.

Their harmonies on the chorus are the best Brandon thinks they've done so far, and Sean’s rendition of the second verse is straight up sexy. They do the chorus one more time before the song ends, no substitute for the rap part since they never perform full songs anyway. If they ever do this cover outside of the show, Brandon hopes they can get Anders to rap for them. It's his new dream collaboration.

Dig In performs after them, and they choose a slow, dramatic rendition of _Ring of Fire_. Brandon feels good about their performance, and this doesn't change that, but it's going to be a tough call. He doesn't think he could ever be a judge.

It's a unanimous vote. They're in.


	7. Live Shows - Week Four

**WEEK FOUR - OCTOBER 29, 2014 - LOS ANGELES, CALIFORNIA**

Their meeting the next morning is tense. Sean's unusually quiet, and Brandon's sure it's because he had to say goodbye to Chris and Charlie as they headed to the airport. There's a sense of guilt, maybe, that they're going back to Foxborough while Endless Holiday remains in LA. But that's just the business of the show.

"I'm glad you boys pulled it off," Backes says by way of greeting. "You know, I'll miss Chris and Charlie. They were always a pleasure to work with." He pauses, looking at Brandon, and he's pretty sure he's supposed to, like, apologize. He's not going to. "But I'd have voted for you anyway. They _could_ be something, maybe not. You boys _will_ be something. Understood?"

They all nod. It's Trent who dares to speak. "Understood."

"Now, this week's theme is perfect for your redemption," Backes continues. He's smiling now, and Brandon hopes it's genuine. "British Invasion."

Charlie gets up and cheers, and it lightens the mood of the room enough that they all join in. Well, not Backes, but he does laugh a little, and he seems happy.

"So, last week, we had a little bit of a power struggle," Backes goes on. "I don't want to give you guys a song without consulting you, but I don't want you to pick a bad song again either."

"But _Africa_-" Charlie starts to speak, but a glare from Matt shuts him up.

"It's not a good song for your group, Charlie," Backes explains. "Anyway. You're going to sing a One Direction song, and this is non-negotiable."

Brandon shrugs. "I mean, that's fine by me. Probably the right call."

"Definitely the right call," Trent adds.

"I'll let you offer some song suggestions, pending final approval from me," Backes says. "This is how we're going to choose your songs from now on. Got it?"

"Got it," Brandon says. He does wish Backes would actually consult them in this decision rather than just make up the rules himself, but it seems like a reasonable process, so he doesn't want to bother complaining. "We could do _I Want_?"

"Oh fuck yeah," Matt says.

Backes shakes his head. "No, I don't think it's popular enough. It's going to need to be one the casual fans know."

"_What Makes You Beautiful_?" Trent suggests.

"No, no, that's _too_ basic," Backes says.

Charlie tries it next. "How about _Live While We're Young_?"

"That has potential," Backes says. "Anyone else?"

Brandon likes Charlie's suggestion, though he wonders if doing a more recent single would be better. He thinks of suggesting it, but Sean beats him to it.

"_Steal My Girl_," he says. "Their latest single. It's more mature than their older stuff, so I think it aligns more with the direction we want to go in anyway."

He said it much better than Brandon could've. Backes seems impressed.

"I love it," he says. "Matt, you get the first verse. Zayn's. Once Niall comes in, that's Trent, then the chorus. Brandon, you get Harry's bridge, and Sean, you'll get Liam's backing vocals throughout. You know, the 'oh yeah' and 'alright'; it's perfect for your voice. Charlie, we'll keep your mic a little louder for the backing vocals too. I'd give you Louis' verse if we had time for the full song, but I think the bridge is a stronger show."

It's the quickest Backes has ever assigned solos. Brandon's sure he's thought about this before. Maybe he's even assigned them roles as if they're One Direction 2.0 - Brandon as Harry makes sense, given Backes' words to him that first night of the live shows. Harry certainly has the best voice and most potential for solo stardom of that band, and, well, he's the hottest. Trent as Niall and Charlie as Louis are both reasonable, too; they don't get as many solos. Sean as Liam makes sense, too; he has a great voice, but not as much range. Matt makes a good Zayn. He has the range, the edge, the tattoos. It's not a perfect fit, but they're not the same band. Brandon hopes Backes knows this.

Thinking of it all causes him to space out a little, and he realizes the rest of the band has already agreed to that arrangement. "Yeah, yeah," he hurries out. "Sounds great."

"What were you doing, daydreaming about your 30-year-old Czech boyfriend?" Charlie grins.

Brandon _really_ doesn't know what's going on here. "What?"

"Oh, well, you know, if you're Harry, then surely you could tell us whether the rumors of him dating that Boston Bruins player are true," Sean explains. He looks serious.

"I have… no idea what you're talking about," Brandon says.

"Wow," Matt says. "Well, tell Krejci I said hello and good luck this season."

"Uh, yeah, sure," Brandon laughs.

They get on with practice after that, and of all the songs they've done, it feels the easiest to master. Maybe it's a safe pick, but Brandon's sure the people will love it. 

-

It's late the next night when Brandon receives a knock on his door. He gets up and opens it to see Charlie.

"Hey, can I talk to you about something?"

"Yeah, of course," Brandon says, gesturing for him to come in. He sits on the bed and Brandon does the same. "What's up?"

"It's, uh. It's about Jake."

Brandon's drawing a blank here. They've never talked about someone named Jake before. "Who?"

"Oh, you know, the makeup artist? On the show?"

"Oh, right," Brandon says. "Do you, like… know him, outside of being our makeup artist?"

Charlie blushes. "Well, actually, yeah. We've been hanging out sometimes. Privately, you know, like when you guys are doing your own things, I'm, uh, usually with him. It's kind of - I just don't know how to tell if it's, like. You know. Gay."

Suddenly, Brandon realizes exactly what this meeting is about. He's not really sure why Charlie would come to him, considering he has his life together the least out of all of them, especially when it comes to relationships, but he's touched anyway.

"Well," Brandon starts. "Do you want it to be?"

"Yeah," Charlie says quietly. "So fucking much."

Brandon nods. "Okay, good, that's good. I have noticed that he spends longer doing your makeup than anyone else's, at least of the guys."

"That doesn't mean anything," Charlie looks away.

"You have better skin than Sean, Matt, and Trent, anyway," Brandon says. "Probably most of the other guys on this show, too. Like Billy Bob Burns? You really think you need more makeup than him?"

"He's supposed to look rugged," Charlie says. "He's a country singer, and he's, like, 40. I'm in a boy band."

"I know," Brandon says. "But Jake doesn't give you anything more than the foundation necessary to not look like a ghost on stage. Which, you know, is the same thing he gives Billy Bob Burns. Yet it takes him twice as long to get yours on."

"Is Billy Bob his real name?"

"Don't change the subject yet," Brandon says. "It's not; I’m pretty sure it's Brent. But that's beside the point. Why don't you think Jake is into you?"

Charlie shrugs. "I mean, I don't know if he likes guys."

Brandon's starting to feel like there must be a hidden camera somewhere. This has to be a prank. "Charlie," he says. "With all due respect, and full knowledge that assuming someone's sexuality can be and often is harmful, coming from a gay guy who wears makeup for fun sometimes and is on the more flamboyant side of things, that is _not_ a straight guy. First of all, he's a _makeup artist_. And, like, yeah, that's not enough to know. Straight guys can be makeup artists too, I guess. But Jake - I mean, come on, he literally wears crop tops and miniskirts to work sometimes. I know straight guys _can_ wear skirts, but they don't. I mean - if this guy is straight, then, fuck, I don't know, maybe my Gaydar is broken."

"He's said I'm 'gorgeous' too, but is that just a normal thing for a makeup artist to say?" Charlie asks.

"Definitely not," Brandon says. "Look. Even if he is straight, there's no way he's homophobic. You have nothing to lose by asking him out."

Charlie nods. "Yeah," he says after a long pause. "You're right."

"I'm glad you trusted me with this," Brandon says. "It's going to go well. I believe it."

"Thanks," Charlie smiles. "Really. It means a lot."

"Anytime, man," Brandon says. He gets up to leave with a wave and a quick goodnight, and Brandon's alone again.

He hopes it works out, and he's sure they could build something great together. He hadn't been lying about that. But he doubts Jake is the type who would want to keep things hidden, and if Endless Holiday is going to get famous, well - they can't have a member who's out. Not when their appearance is going to be one of their primary marketing tools. Brandon's sure that if they do make it big, they'll be able to come out one day when their fanbase is already solidified, maybe a few years older, and they've made enough money to deal with the fallout no matter how poorly it goes. He’s not worried about being stuck in the closet forever. But now? It's too early.

It makes Backes look even more appealing, somehow. At least he'll know the importance of keeping things secret. 

-

Unsurprisingly, the performance goes well. Brandon's never heard a crowd scream so loud in his life, at least not when he's been on the stage. It's exhilarating and a little unbelievable.

"That was fucking incredible," Trent says as soon as they get off the stage. They're on camera, and Brandon's sure a censored version of that will make it onto the final cut of the show.

They make it through to the next week with no need to participate in a sudden-death elimination matchup. This week's final showdown is between Connor Clifton and Martina Garcia, and Brandon has still barely spoken to Connor, but he's a little unreasonably sad to see him lose the vote. He'd been fun to watch.

Endless Holiday is back on top, though, and Brandon's not sure anything has ever felt better.


	8. Live Shows - Week Five

**WEEK FIVE - NOVEMBER 5, 2014 - LOS ANGELES, CALIFORNIA**

"It's the last week of having just one song to perform," Backes announces. "We're going out strong with the Big Band theme. After that, assuming you make it through, you'll be doing two songs a week. If you make it to the finals, it'll be three. Lots of practice coming up for you boys."

"We're ready," Sean says. They all nod in agreement.

"What does Big Band even mean?" Trent asks.

"It's just a band with a lot of musicians, basically," Backes waves a hand. "This show doesn’t have a very strict definition. You could just pick any song with some brass or three guitars in it and they'll allow it."

"So we could do, like, a Bruno Mars song?" Charlie asks.

Backes winces, and Brandon almost laughs. "I mean, technically, yes. But I don't know if that's a great idea." Brandon is reminded of how much he’d hated Matt’s attempt at singing _Just the Way You Are_ in his audition, and resolves to find out why Backes hates Bruno Mars so much. Someday.

"What about _Life is a Highway_?" Sean suggests. Matt gives him a weird look. "What? I fucking love _Cars_."

"That song is far older than that movie," Backes says. "But you might be onto something."

"I support it," Brandon adds. The song - at least, the Rascal Flatts version - is a little closer to country than anything they've done before. It'd be a great risk with high reward if they can pull it off.

"It'll be fitting if you do add the tiniest bit of country influence, actually," Backes says. "A little birdie told me our musical guest this week is going to be Danton Heinen. I think you guys could work well together. Some public appearances together, after the show of course, and you'd maybe see some crossover in your fanbases. It'd be great for the both of you. He's young, about your age, and up and coming. _Life is a Highway_ it is, then."

"Danton Heinen?" Trent seems excited. "Holy shit. That's incredible."

"He any good?" Matt asks.

"Oh, dude, fuck yeah," Trent says. "He's, like, revolutionizing country music. Like, it sounds like country, but the lyrics are so far from most country music, you know? He gets into all kinds of deep, thoughtful shit, and all his love songs use 'you' pronouns, so, like, I don't know, draw your own conclusions there. Some of it's political too, and I don't know how he hasn't gotten blacklisted yet. Obama actually praised him on Twitter once. He's a genius. Canadian, though."

“Wait, Obama?” Sean asks.

"You have a crush or something?" Brandon asks.

Trent laughs. "No, no, I swear."

"Fanboy alert," Charlie teases him. "Why don't we all listen to one of his songs?"

Backes tells them to go ahead, so Trent pulls up the music video for what he says is the most popular song. He puts it on full screen and props the phone up so they can all see.

The guitar work is incredible, Brandon notices. It's not too complex, but it's clean and unique. The camera shows his face before any vocals come in, and when he finally does sing, Brandon wonders if there'd been a problem with the audio. His voice is _way_ too deep for that face. It's kind of alluring, actually.

Sean seems to agree. Brandon's never seen him look so entranced by something - or in this case, someone.

This particular song is just a love song, and the lyrics are good, but nothing quite like what Trent had hyped up. Brandon can only assume that it's because this is his most popular song; he has to have something to appeal more to the masses. Maybe he'll check out some deep cuts when he has the time.

"God, I cannot wait to meet this man," Sean says. They all laugh, but Brandon can tell he's completely serious.

"Guess we'll have to give you a good solo, then," Brandon says. 

-

Danton arrives two days later while they're at practice. Backes lets them leave to go watch the performance, as is standard. They change into the clothes they'll be wearing for their song to give the illusion that the guest performance isn’t prerecorded, and Sean is practically jumping out of his skin. 

It's a great performance. Danton sings the same song they'd watched on Trent's phone the other day, and it sounds even better live. Brandon's definitely a fan, and he can't say he's ever enjoyed another country artist before.

They meet him backstage when the recording is done, and he's a nice, pleasant guy. A lot quieter than Brandon had anticipated, but he seems genuinely happy to meet them all.

"I've been watching you guys," Danton tells them. "I've voted for you, actually. Not even the country artists. You're amazing."

Sean looks like he's about to keel over and die, so Brandon steps in. "Thanks, man, that means a lot. I'm not a huge country fan, but I've really enjoyed your work. I respect what you're doing to change the genre and do your own thing, you know? It's inspiring."

They don't talk much more than that, but that's pretty standard. The guest performers don't usually stick around too long. Sean hangs back, though, and Brandon hopes he's about to shoot his shot.

-

That night, Brandon walks by Sean's room on his way back from dinner. He doesn't pause to listen, but he doesn't have to.

Sounds like he shot his shot after all. 

-

There's something ironic about singing a whole song about driving when Brandon's never learned how to do it. He's not the only one in the band who can't drive, though; Charlie says he failed his permit test miserably and never worked up the courage to try again. 

They can certainly sing about driving, though. It's a great performance, and the crowd and judges seem to agree.

"You really pushed the boundaries of what people think boy bands can do with this one," Meghan tells them. "I have to say, definitely the best performance I've seen from you guys."

"This will be a defining moment in your career," Julie says. Brandon doesn't miss that she keeps "career" singular, and it feels completely right.

"I have to admit, before, I didn't see what set you apart from any other boy band," Shannon says. "But this? This is it. You're going to go far."

"I'm proud of you all," Backes says with a smile. Brandon isn't proud of what it does to his heart.

-

They make it through to the next week once again. It's exciting, knowing that they're in the final six, but it's hard to watch two contestants be eliminated every week instead of just one. It's even harder when Anders has to participate in the sudden death elimination round.

It's Two Tranz vs. Martina Garcia, the same girl who beat Connor Clifton last week. Brandon likes her well enough; she's very sweet, and her music is much closer to rock than anyone else on the show, which is a welcome change even if the genre doesn't have the best memories for Brandon. She's only 15, too, yet he can easily see her becoming a star one day.

She's probably too young for it to happen now, though. Two Tranz isn't. Anders is also Brandon's closest friend outside of his band on this show, so maybe he's a little biased.

He looks over to Matt as Anders takes the stage, and notices that he looks like a ghost. He's already rather pale, even after living in LA for a month, but this is something else.

Brandon walks up to him. "Are you okay?"

Matt is startled, and Brandon realizes he probably didn't notice him walking up over all the noise backstage. The backing track is starting up now, and it's a song that sounds vaguely familiar. "Just nervous," he says. Brandon offers a reassuring smile.

Anders starts rapping, and a flash of recognition passes over Matt's face. "Holy shit."

Brandon doesn't recognize it yet, but once the chorus kicks in and Anders switches to singing, it clicks.

"Taking Back Sunday?" He asks.

"Dude's fucking nuts," Sean says. "This is incredible."

Brandon's not sure what the title is, but he thinks it's the most popular song of theirs. _ Cute Without The E_ or something like that. He never had an emo phase, but he once tried to familiarize himself with the greatest hits of every genre, and this was one of his favorites. 

Hearing it reimagined as a rap song is nothing short of a life-changing experience. It's no surprise that the judges pick Anders to move on to the next week.

Matt looks like he's ready to cry at the news, and Brandon thinks he'll have to see what's going on there.


	9. Live Shows - Week Six

**WEEK SIX - NOVEMBER 12, 2014 - LOS ANGELES, CALIFORNIA**

"Alright boys," Backes begins with a smile a little too bright for how early in the morning it is. "We're onto the first week of two songs per artist. That also means two themes. You excited?"

"I am!" Charlie says.

"Great! The first theme is Divas," Backes announces. Brandon's pretty excited for this one, though it seems he's the only one. "And the second is Unplugged. That means you'll be going acoustic. Any chance one of you is comfortable playing a guitar on stage while singing?"

"I can do that," Trent says. Brandon thinks back to what Backes had said-but-not-said about him being the Niall of Endless Holiday.

"Excellent! The Unplugged theme is really open to anything, but I think I'd like to see you guys cover a boy band. Not One Direction this time; that wouldn't be enough variety."

"Big Time Rush?" Brandon suggests without missing a beat. So maybe he used to have their posters all over his walls; it was short-lived anyway. His dad hadn't approved. Maybe his continued appreciation for them is making up for lost time or whatever. Maybe his appreciation for Backes is the same. He’s not going to get into that now.

"Oh fuck yeah," Sean says, then blushes. "What? They're good."

"_'Til I Forget About You_ would make a great acoustic song," Brandon suggests. "No one would expect it. It's a safe pick because it's a boy band, but it's not a boy band people usually associate with, like, real music."

"Because of the TV show," Backes says. "Well, you know, I think you make a great point. I'll allow it."

Brandon cheers, and Sean reaches out to high five him.

"Can we do a Lady GaGa song for Divas?" Matt asks before Backes gets the chance to speak. Brandon hadn't been expecting that from him, but he wholeheartedly agrees.

"Oh man, yes," Trent says. It seems Lady GaGa is a popular choice.

"I was going to suggest Beyoncé, but I suppose that could work," Backes says. "Maybe _Poker Face_?"

"Everyone covers _Poker Face_," Charlie says. Brandon is pleased to not be the only one questioning Backes this time.

"How about _LoveGame_?" Matt suggests.

"Bro," Sean laughs. "That's a bold choice. It'd be so much fun, though."

"Is that really appropriate for this show?" Backes raises an eyebrow. "It would be a great song, I do agree. You'd pull it off stunningly. It might tarnish your image a bit, though. It's… a sexual song." He looks right at Brandon while saying this, and Brandon starts to feel like his life is a little bit of a joke. The fact that he actually feels something doesn’t help.

"We can clean the song up a little," Trent says. "Like, just skip over the 'dick' in it, and maybe have a super elaborate backup dance routine so people don’t notice the lyrics as much."

"Yeah!" Charlie agrees. "She doesn't really say 'cock' in the bridge, just like-" He makes a strangled noise to try to imitate Lady GaGa. It doesn't sound quite right, but they all get the point. "We could do that."

"I like it," Brandon adds.

"Maybe make the song a bit less… gay, though," Backes says. "Don't say 'I want to take a ride on your disco stick.'" Once again, he's just looking right at Brandon, no trace of any shame. Brandon’s heart starts to beat a little too fast. "How about, instead, 'Want you to take a ride on my disco stick.'"

"Let's do it," Brandon says, looking right at Backes. Out of the corner of his eye, he sees Sean give him a concerned glance.

"_LoveGame_ it is, then," Backes says. 

-

The guys go their separate ways for lunch, having been unable to agree on what they wanted to eat. Sean and Charlie are going to McDonald's for whatever reason, and Trent is off to a fancy sushi place they all love. Brandon debates going with him, but he's been meaning to talk to Matt, so he agrees to go with him to the overpriced organic salad bar down the street.

"I thought you loved sushi," Matt says.

"I do," Brandon says. "I'm just more in the mood for, uh, a salad." It's a total lie, and Matt doesn't seem to buy it. "Okay, fine, I've been meaning to talk to you and this was a perfect opportunity."

"Well, go ahead, then," Matt says. "No need to wait, right?"

"Uh, yeah," Brandon agrees. "I guess. I just wanted to ask if you're doing okay."

Matt looks away, and it's really all the answer Brandon needs. Maybe he should be more concerned than he is - he'd just been thinking of his reaction to Anders nearly being eliminated, but what if there's something else going on?

"I'm a bit stressed," Matt finally says. "I mean, you know, we're getting close to the end. I don’t know how much longer we're going to be here or if I'll ever get to see LA again after - well, I mean, I hope we win, or at least get signed if we don't, but you never know. I guess that's why I wanted to come here, actually. Reminds me of home, and I don't know if that's a good thing or not."

"Here as in… the salad place?" Brandon asks.

"Yeah," Matt confirms. "Before I quit to come on the show, I worked a lot of jobs in the Seaport - it's this area of Boston that's really being built up. Lots of those fancy new hipster places, you know? So I'd often have little choice but to get some fancy expensive salad, and, I don't know, I guess it means something to me now. We'd always have our Dunkin coffee with it too," he grins. "Boston culture and all that. It's weird to think that something as seemingly meaningless as the food I eat can be the same whether I'm a construction worker on the east coast or a pop star on the west. It grounds me, I guess."

"Huh," Brandon says as he adds kale to his bowl. "I guess you never realize how much the little things mean. Or, I don't, anyway."

"There's a lot to think about," Matt shrugs. "And plenty of time to think here. I'm okay, though."

"I'm glad you are," Brandon says. "But I was really going to ask you about Anders."

Matt pauses in dumping feta on his salad. "Anders?"

"You seemed pretty shaken up when he was up for elimination last night," Brandon says.

"Oh," Matt says, looking back at his salad. "I guess, yeah."

"Do you know, like… why?"

Matt sighs. "I mean, I guess I think he's, like, cute and funny and talented and the easiest person to talk to that I've ever met, and I kind of wanted to, I don't know, do something about it, and I felt like I was about to lose my chance forever."

It's a lot, but Brandon had been expecting this. "You know being eliminated from _The X Factor_ isn't the same as dying, right?"

"Yeah," Matt says. "But it may as well be. Most people just go back to their normal everyday lives and that's it. Like, Anders is a college student, and he'll have a great career in something one day if music doesn't work out, and I’m just - well, you know. I don't know. I guess I just feel like our normal lives aren't compatible, but if we're both living in this fantasy pop star land, we have a chance. But if we did get together we couldn't even be open about it, and it's just - it's a mess. I don't know what to do."

"Hey, there's nothing wrong with your 'normal life'," Brandon says. "I know Anders pretty well and he's not going to think any less of you for working in construction. But man, we're in the final six. Anyone who makes it this far has a completely legit chance of making it. Backes could easily sign anyone who's left to a record deal." He doesn't say that he's sure Backes will sign them, because he doesn't really _know_ that, and on the off chance it doesn't happen, he doesn't want to let Matt down.

"Sure, I guess," Matt says. "I still don't know what to do, though."

"Ask him out, maybe?" Brandon suggests. "I think he'd be really interested in that. He thinks very highly of you." In truth, he and Anders haven't spoken much about Matt, but they don't see each other more than once or twice a day anyway, and they usually have other things to talk about. He’s pretty sure it’s true.

"Yeah, maybe," Matt shrugs. "I don't know if I could handle the distraction, anyway. Just being on the show is already a lot, you know? I've never - I mean, I've dated one guy, ever, and it was in high school. I don't know if I'm ready."

"That's fair," Brandon says. "You don't need to date anyone if you're not ready or if it's just too much right now. Just, you know, talk to him, keep up a good relationship, yeah?"

"Yeah. I want to, I just - I don't know. I have to think about it more. Thank you, though, this - I think it helps," Matt offers a small smile.

"Anytime," Brandon says. 

-

The _LoveGame_ performance is exactly as awkward as Brandon expected it to be. The actual performance is extraordinary; everyone seems to love it, and they certainly have fun doing it. It's just that Backes doesn't take his eyes off of Brandon the whole time, even when Matt's the one singing a solo. 

_'Til I Forget About You_ is a hit as well. Brandon's pretty proud of how much emotion he manages to pack into his voice during his solo, and Trent does a great job with the guitar.

They make it into the final four, along with Padagos and Ellen Mendoza. Maddie and Hayley share a tight embrace once they get backstage, and it warms Brandon's heart a little.

Madison Packer received the fewest votes, so she's sent home. There are only two acts remaining for the last sudden death elimination of the season - Billy Bob Burns and Two Tranz. Again.

"I can't believe Two Tranz didn't get the most votes," Ellen says. Brandon doesn't know her very well, but he can't help but agree.

"His acoustic version of _Cross Road Blues_ is the most hauntingly beautiful song I've ever heard," Matt says. His voice is a little shaky. "I never would've imagined that song could work with rap, never mind acoustic too."

"That's Anders' brand, really," Brandon says. "Making things work that no one else would ever dream of. He's amazing."

Their celebration of Anders ends with Billy Bob Burns' _Red Solo Cup_ cover. It's time for Two Tranz to take the stage now, and Brandon is nervous for him. He can't say he enjoyed Billy Bob's cover, but the judges certainly did. He'd make a lot of money in America.

Brandon should've been expecting Anders to blow them all away after last week's elimination song, but somehow this one is even more of a shock from the very first G note.

Naturally, Two Tranz makes _Welcome to the Black Parade_ sound like it was meant to be a rap song all along. There's no way he'll get voted off - he's just too damn good.

"It was pretty similar to your last elimination song," Julie tells him.

Sean snorts. "Yeah, no. My Chemical Romance sounds nothing like Taking Back Sunday."

The judges choose Billy Bob Burns. He's excited, cries a little, and the crowd is happy for him.

Anders comes backstage and doesn't talk to anyone, just heads right back to the hotel. Brandon's heart breaks a little.

_You okay?_ He texts Anders, but it's several hours before he gets a reply.

-

In the meantime, Matt comes straight to Brandon's room. Brandon's barely even closed the door before Matt lets the first tears fall. 

He tries to speak, but Brandon comes over to hold him and tells him to just let it out. He does, and Brandon's heart breaks even more.

"You can still talk to him," he says once Matt's calmed down a little.

"It's never going to be the same," Matt says. His voice is rough, and Brandon resolves to get him some water once they're done talking. "I - I missed my chance. I should've said something before it was too late."

"No you didn't," Brandon says. "You didn’t miss your chance. He's not dead. Who knows, maybe Backes will sign him. Or maybe someone else will. Or maybe he'll go DIY for a while, and build up success from there, you know? He cares about you, Matt. He's not just going to go back to Milwaukee and forget about you and music and his hopes and dreams."

"Indiana," Matt says.

"What?"

"That's where he goes to school."

"Oh," Brandon says. "Right. The point still stands."

"I'm worried about him," Matt says after a while.

Brandon checks his phone to see that he finally has a reply.

_I guess_

"Maybe you should go check on him," Brandon says. "You know where his room is."

"But - I mean, he'll know I've been crying," Matt says.

"So?"

Matt sighs. "Fine," he says. "And thank you."

With that, he leaves, and all Brandon can do is hope they'll all be okay.


	10. Live Shows - Week Seven

**WEEK SEVEN - NOVEMBER 19, 2014 - LOS ANGELES, CALIFORNIA**

Brandon doesn't usually see Backes at breakfast. He knows, logically, that the judges are served the same meal the hotel serves the contestants. Their schedules just don't usually align.

Today is different, though Brandon gets the feeling that it isn't a coincidence when Backes comes straight to his table.

"I'd like to talk to you privately," he says, making no time for pleasant greetings. Brandon wonders if he should be scared. "In my office, before the rest of the band comes in. Finish that muffin and be there in ten."

-

"Uh, you wanted to talk to me?" Brandon says as he walks into the office.

Backes grins and gestures for him to sit down, so he does. "Yes, yes. We only have one song to pick this week; Viewers' Choice and all. I want you to pick it."

Brandon nods. "Okay, I can do that," he says. "There's no theme, right?"

"Correct," Backes says. "Pick an older song. A love song, I'd say, probably from the 60s or 70s. I know you have more personal experience with the 80s, but I think you'll do great at it. Haven't had the chance to meet your dad, but I'm sure he showed you plenty of great music."

Brandon smiles nervously. He's not about to tell Backes how he his dad really feels about him, but it's true that he knows a lot of older music because of him. "Yeah," he says simply. "Uh, he did."

"Great," Backes says, smiling and nodding. It's a little uncomfortable, and Brandon is hoping he's about to get to the point. There has to be more to it than this. "You remember what I said when you first got to LA for the live shows, yes?" Brandon nods. How could he forget? "My belief has only been strengthened by your time here. You're by far the best singer in your group, and the others are all quite good. You have such a natural charisma when you're on the stage; it's downright infectious. You're going to be a star, Brandon. You'll need to be a leader within the band, and that's why I wanted you to pick a song."

"Oh," Brandon says. "I appreciate it. Thank you."

Brandon wonders if Backes is going to acknowledge the other thing he'd said before.

"Is that all?" He asks.

"No," Backes shakes his head. "You know, I do remember saying you were quite hot as well. I haven't been able to get your performance of _LoveGame_ out of my head."

It's the most blatant come-on Brandon's ever heard, and he used to be a frequent user of Grindr.

"I could give you a private show," he finds himself saying. He probably should just leave the office, but he can't pretend he doesn't want _something_ to happen between them. How much, exactly, he's not sure, but he may as well have fun with it.

"I'd love that," Backes says. He gets up to lock the door to his office, and turns back to face Brandon. "Does this private show include a demonstration?"

"You know," Brandon pretends to think. "Maybe if it's a partner demonstration. Can't be getting out my _disco stick_ if I'm the only one."

It's the worst pickup line he's ever used, but Backes looks positively hungry, so he supposes it worked. He's already undoing the buttons on his shirt. Brandon takes his own off, too - may as well go all in. He gets up and walks over to Backes, both of their shirts discarded on the floor now.

"Let me help you with that," Backes says, reaching down to Brandon's waist. Brandon lets him, and soon enough, he's naked.

"Don't forget," he grins. "Partner demonstration."

"Think you'll need to get on your knees for that," Backes says. He starts to undo his pants as Brandon complies.

He can't say giving Backes a blowjob was what he expected to happen when he signed up for the show, but he's glad it's come to this. Maybe their meeting with the whole band later is going to be awkward, but they'll deal.

"You're beautiful," Backes says as he gets going. This is good - great, even - and Brandon forgets any thoughts of his bandmates or meetings or contracts. All that matters now is Backes.

-

"As you all know, one of the themes this week is Viewers' Choice," Backes announces. "The results are in, and I must say I'm pleased."

"Is it the Bieber song?" Brandon asks, trying to act like everything is normal. He hopes it's that song; their other option is _Teenage Dream_ by Katy Perry and he feels that's a little too basic.

"Yes," Backes confirms. Brandon notices that his hair is a little out of place. He wonders if Sean sees it too. "_Confident_ by Justin Bieber is the song you'll be performing. I like that choice. It's edgy enough without being too edgy. It's not something One Direction would've performed when they were in your position."

"They wouldn't have done _LoveGame_ either," Matt points out.

"That's very true," Backes chuckles. He looks right at Brandon, and this time, he's ready for it. Backes looks away almost immediately, like the thought of what they did earlier is too much to handle in front of the others. "Anyway, your second choice is up to you; there isn't a theme. I think you should pick something that'll appeal a bit more to the older crowd. When it's this late in the competition, you have to hope you can get some of them on your side."

"So, what, like, Led Zeppelin?" Sean asks.

Backes laughs. "Yeah, no. An older pop song, I'd say. Brandon, any suggestions?"

He's had time to think of one now, so he wastes no time in answering. "_Happy Together_ by the Turtles."

Backes nods. "I love it. Everyone agree?"

"Yeah, actually, that's a great song," Charlie says. They all nod.

"Great!" Backes says, giving Brandon another look that makes his heart do weird things. "Then it's settled."

-

Sean takes him out to lunch this time, and they end up at Trent's favorite sushi place. As soon as they're settled in the booth, Sean asks the question Brandon's been waiting for.

"What happened between you and Backes?"

Brandon smiles sheepishly. "I gave him a blowjob."

"Okay, okay, TMI-"

"You asked!"

Sean sighs, but he seems a little less on edge now. "Was it good, though? Like, he didn't coerce you or-"

"It was very, very consensual," Brandon says. "Sure, he made the first move, but he wouldn't have kept going if I wasn't into it."

"Okay, that's good," Sean says.

"It probably should be weird," Brandon shrugs. "It wasn't, though. Not at all."

"Not even during the meeting?"

"Well, that's different," Brandon says. "The actual hookup was great, 10/10, would do again."

"So is this just a hookup?" Sean asks. It's a fair question.

"Yes and no," Brandon settles for. Sean raises an eyebrow. "Yes in the sense that I'm never going to go on a date with Backes or call him my boyfriend. No in the sense that I'd love to do it again, maybe even on a regular basis."

Sean nods. "Just do what makes you comfortable, yeah?"

"I will," Brandon promises.

"And, uh, maybe tell the others. It'd only be fair to them, I think."

-

Brandon doesn't exactly _want_ to tell the others. There's no possible way to say he and their mentor are fucking without it being awkward. But Sean does have a point - he owes it to them. 

"You're - wait, are you serious?" Matt asks.

Brandon nods. "I can't imagine you'd want to ask me for romance advice again."

"What? No, this doesn't change anything," Matt says.

"It was a joke," Brandon smiles.

"Oh," Matt says. "Well, as long as you're not doing anything you aren't comfortable with. He's not - pushing you into this, or anything, is he?"

"No, no, it's all consensual," Brandon assures him. "I've been, uh, wanting to, I just figured, you know, now that it's actually happened, I should tell you."

"Yeah, no, I'm glad you did," Matt says. "And I'm glad it's good for you. Just do whatever makes you happy; I support you."

-

"Wait, you hooked up with _Backes_?" Charlie is smiling, and Brandon thinks he must think it's a joke.

"Yeah, like, he called me into his office and I gave him a blowjob, you know, the whole works," Brandon says.

"Wow," Charlie says, still grinning. "That's so cool, man. Like, to get with a _judge_ and to have that kind of power over someone so powerful, you know? You're a badass."

"Power over Backes?" Brandon asks. This is a very different reaction from Sean's and Matt's.

"Well, yeah, you haven't noticed? There's no way he'd have ever let us sing _LoveGame_ or _Confident_ if not for you. He was totally going to say no to _LoveGame_ until you backed us up. He's the kind of guy who really believes in that family-friendly image, at least for boy bands. He wants our fans to start at, like, age seven or something. I've already seen some outraged articles from conservatives."

"Wait, for real?"

"Yeah," Charlie says. Brandon is starting to think that maybe he needs to keep up a little better. He enjoys singing those more mature songs, but if they're hurting their image, it can't possibly be worth it. Shouldn't Backes know this? Isn't it his job to watch out for these things? "They haven't gotten much traction, though."

"Still, I don't know-"

"We can't change the Voters' Choice song," Charlie shrugs. "We can just not pick a sexual one next week. If we make it."

"You're right," Brandon says.

"Anyway, you think he's more likely to sign us after the show now?"

Brandon's already thought about this. He wasn't going to bring it up, because he doesn't want his bandmates thinking he only started hooking up with Backes to get a record deal, but, well, the answer is obvious.

"Definitely."

-

"This is a joke. Right?"

"No, I swear it's not," Brandon says for the third time. Trent still isn't getting it. "I seriously did hook up with Backes this morning. Like, David Backes, our mentor, the man of my childhood dreams-"

"Oh God, okay, okay," Trent says. "I - do the others know?"

"Yes," Brandon says. That's at least a little bit of progress. "You can ask them if you still don't believe me."

"No, I believe you," Trent says. "I - sorry, it's just that I kind of see him as, like, my dad. I don't know, I guess I thought we all did."

Brandon winces a little. "Yeah, no, definitely not."

"I - sorry, I don't mean, like - I know your dad is - yeah. I just meant like a father figure, or like… not someone you'd want to hook up with. But it's fine. I support you, you know? Whatever makes you happy."

"It's okay," Brandon says. "Thank you."

"And if things get weird - uh, weirder, like, bad I guess, you'll tell us, right? I'll back you up."

Brandon smiles. "Yeah, of course."

-

_Confident_ isn't quite _LoveGame_ 2.0, but it's close. There's enough tension between Brandon and Backes, even with the distance between them, that he's positive they'll end up in the same bed tonight. 

_Happy Together_ is a hit as well. It's a fun song, and they put a more modern spin on it that the judges love.

It's all up to the audience now. There's no sudden death elimination round. The top three vote-getters go on to the final, and the other act finishes in fourth place. The judges can't do anything to change the results.

Brandon does indeed get into Backes' bed that night, and it's a good way to forget the stress.

-

The announcement ceremony is far more dramatic than it really needs to be, but Endless Holiday makes it to the final three. Ellen and Billy Bob do too, and it breaks Brandon's heart a little to see Maddie hold Hayley as she cries.

They made it far enough, though. He's almost positive Backes will sign them. And if not, well, Charlie did say Brandon has some power over him.

They're going to the final, and they have a very real chance to win the whole show. They'd be practically guaranteed to be signed even if not for Brandon sleeping with Backes at this point.

No matter how next week goes, Brandon is confident that they're going to get their shot in the real world.


	11. Live Shows - Week Eight

**WEEK EIGHT - NOVEMBER 26, 2014 - LOS ANGELES, CALIFORNIA**

"This it, boys. Our final song choice meeting," Backes greets them.

"Three songs this week, right?" Trent asks.

"That's right," Backes confirms. "One is a celebrity 'duet', only for you guys, it'll be far from a duet."

"Is our celebrity confirmed yet, then?" Charlie asks.

"Oh yes," Backes says. "It's a little bit unconventional, I'll admit. Usually for this round, we get older, more experienced artists. They're generally inspirations for the artists with whom they'll be singing. But for you boys, I felt that it was more important to get some exposure to a massive fanbase. You'll need to network with this band a lot - their fans are valuable, and have already proven that they're willing to jump ship from one band to the next if the boys are hot enough and the music is at least decent. Being friends with them will help matters as it'll feel less like a betrayal when the fans move on."

He sounds a little bitter, and that's all Brandon needs to know who their guest will be. "5 Seconds of Summer, right?"

"That's correct," Backes says. "You'll be performing their hit single _She Looks So Perfect_. Their agent said this was non-negotiable, but I agreed because I think you'll nail it. The fans will be more focused on 5SOS anyway."

"That's amazing," Sean says. "They're, like - they're really good. This is a great opportunity."

"Yes, well, I'm sure it will be," Backes says. "They're going on a second tour with One Direction after this, so they're about to get even bigger. It'll be great exposure. Anyway, you'll also need to re-do your favorite of your past performances."

"Well, my favorite was _'Til I Forget About You_," Trent offers.

"It shouldn't just be our favorite though, right?" Brandon says. "It should be the one that we felt was the best representation of our abilities as a band."

"Precisely," Backes says. "My recommendation is _Life is a Highway_, though my personal favorite was _LoveGame_." It's a little obvious, and Brandon doesn't miss that all four of his bandmates give him knowing looks. Backes either doesn't notice or chooses not to acknowledge it.

"Sounds good to me," Matt says. The others all voice their agreement.

"Great, that's settled," Backes says. "Now, for night one, you'll need one more song. There's no theme for this one, just a song of your choice. And you'll also need a Christmas song for night two to kick off the holiday season. This one won't be factored into your evaluation; it's just for fun."

"Oh, I have a great idea for that," Charlie says. Backes gestures for him to continue. "_All I Want for Christmas is You_!"

Backes shrugs. "Sure," he says. "It's a little basic, but it'd be good for you. And it's popular, so I'm sure the fans will love it."

"So, for the free choice song, we can pick anything?" Sean asks.

"Not Panic! at the Disco," Matt smirks.

"Well, I don't know," Backes laughs. "That could be pretty fun. But I was thinking another modern pop song. Something to really hone in on who you are as a band - not One Direction, though."

"Taylor Swift?" Brandon suggests.

"Love it," Backes says. Brandon wonders if he would've had the same reaction if one of the other guys had suggested it. "What are her newest songs, then, _Shake it Off_ and _Blank Space_?"

"I'd prefer _Blank Space_," Trent says. They all agree, and it's settled.

Brandon watches the others leave their last ever song choice meeting, and stays behind to have some private time with Backes. It's maybe a little bit much, and they all know exactly what he's doing, but he doesn’t want to stop.

-

Meeting 5 Seconds of Summer doesn't feel real. They're not the most famous artists Brandon has met through this show, but somehow their proximity in age and genre makes this feel like a bigger deal than it probably is. Some of them are younger than Brandon, and they've already toured with One Direction once. It's surreal.

They're nice guys, though. Ashton cracks a joke to lighten the mood, and Brandon feels pretty comfortable talking to him after a few minutes. Michael and Sean seem to be getting along, and judging by the former’s unnaturally bright red hair, Brandon would guess that they're talking about My Chemical Romance or something. Calum is talking to Matt and Trent, and Matt has that look on his face that he only gets when he's talking about sports. That isn't often with Endless Holiday, so Brandon is happy for him, even if Trent looks a little lost. Charlie is talking to Luke, and if Brandon didn't know for a fact that he hooked up with Jake the other night and couldn't stop talking about it the entire next day, he'd swear Charlie looks like he's a little in love with him.

"So, you guys were put together by the show?" Ashton asks, grounding Brandon back to reality.

"Oh yeah, you know, back in July. It doesn't feel like it, though," he says honestly. "Feels like I've known these guys my whole life."

"Yeah, I get that," Ashton smiles. "I don't know how much you know about us, but you know, the other guys all knew each other from school. I joined later on, went to a different school and didn't know any of them; I just filled in at their first show when they needed a drummer and the rest was history. It's only been a few years, but even by that second year it felt like I'd known them forever. I’m sure the proximity of being on this show together helps a lot."

"Oh, for sure," Brandon says. "They're like my brothers, you know? I've never had anyone like that." It's more honest than he would normally get with someone he doesn’t really know, but something about the situation and Ashton's earnest grin brings it out of him. It probably doesn't hurt that Brandon's a bit of a fan.

"I know exactly what you mean. Our performance is going to be great, you know. You're going to kill it."

Brandon smiles. "Thanks, man. Really. I appreciate it."

He supposes this is what Backes wanted them all to do - network with the more popular band. It comes easier than he'd expected, though. They're pretty easy guys to talk to, and he can only hope building those relationships helps them in the long run. 

-

They get into practicing shortly afterward, and once they're done practicing with 5 Seconds of Summer for the day, they get to practice _Blank Space_. They get a break for dinner before getting into _Life is a Highway_ and capping the night off with _All I Want for Christmas is You_. 

The rest of the week goes much the same. When they aren't practicing, they're communicating exclusively via text. It's not quite a formal vocal rest, but Backes doesn't want them straining their voices in any way.

It seems like all they do is practice, but Brandon likes being busy. It's better than having too much time to worry about the finale. 

-

Brandon had thought the screams of the crowd were loud before, but they were nothing compared to what he hears tonight. As soon as the lights come on to reveal them standing with 5 Seconds of Summer, the screams are so loud he can barely hear himself sing. It's exhilarating. 

There are so many voices harmonizing on the chorus that it almost sounds like a choir, and Brandon's amazed at how well it works.

"That was fucking amazing!" Calum yells as they get off the stage. He high-fives everyone in both bands, and Brandon can't help but agree with him.

"Definitely the most fun TV performance we've ever done," Michael says.

"Hey, we should all stay in contact," Ashton says. He gets their phone numbers and follows them on Twitter, and Brandon can almost hear Backes telling him he's done well.

They get to watch the other two celebrity duet performances while they wait. Billy Bob Burns and Keith Urban sound good together, though it's definitely not as fun as Endless Holiday and 5SOS. Ellen Mendoza and Carly Rae Jepson are amazing, though. Their rendition of _Call Me Maybe_ is simply beautiful; it's slowed down a little, but not enough to become a full ballad, and both of their voices absolutely soar.

After that, they're up again for _Life is a Highway_, and it goes just as well as the first time. Brandon's not sure he can honestly say it was better, but the first performance had been impossible to top.

Billy Bob's cover of _Paranoid_ by Black Sabbath and Ellen's cover of _Blown Away_ by Carrie Underwood are about as good as he remembers the first performances being, though, so the band’s performance shouldn’t hurt them.

_Blank Space_ goes exceptionally well. The song takes on a bit of a darker tone when sung by a group of guys, but the audience loves it. Matt's voice is featured prominently, and Brandon assumes this is part of Backes' goal to have him labeled as the "bad boy" of the group. He'd doubted that decision, but Matt does a great job with it. The all black outfit helps.

Billy Bob does a great job with _Drunk on a Plane_ and Ellen nails Nick Jonas' _ Jealous_. The competition is stiff, and the final results are all up to the voters.

Brandon can only hope their dedicated fanbase is enough.

-

They finish in third place.

Somehow, it hurts less than being eliminated at boot camp, or even being up for elimination back in Week 3. Brandon had almost been expecting it.

One Direction finished in third place, too. So did Fifth Harmony. There's no doubt that those are the two most successful bands to come from The X Factor. It hurts to come so far and be so close to winning only to lose it right at the end, but finishing third feels like a sign.

They're still wearing Santa hats from their _All I Want for Christmas is You_ performance, and the sight of Matt and Trent crying in those outfits could almost be funny.

"It's going to be okay," Brandon reassures them. He doesn't want to say too much now, not with the cameras still on them.

"This isn't the end for us," Sean says. It's loud enough that the cameras pick up on it, and Brandon knows whatever he's about to say is making it onto the show. Sean knows it, too. They'll probably be on after the next commercial break. "We're going to come back stronger than ever. We're going to be the best fucking band to ever come from this show. That is a promise."


	12. Post-Finale

**DECEMBER 4, 2014 - LOS ANGELES, CALIFORNIA**

The show is over. Ellen won, and she'd been so happy about it Brandon couldn't bring himself to feel bad. He still believes in the band, though. Ellen's talented, but he's not sure she's really marketable. She sounds exactly like every other reality music show winner who doesn't do well commercially - an incredible voice, but no real originality or defining factor. He feels a bit mean thinking it, since she's only 17, but it's the truth.

He has to pack now. They're allowed to stay in the hotel for another week, but he has nothing else to do, so he figures he may as well get started. He hasn't booked a flight home yet. He's not sure he ever wants to go back to Colorado.

_You busy? Assuming not, come to my office. Alone. Thx_

The text from Backes isn't entirely unexpected. They haven't hooked up in a while; Backes didn't want to risk it while Brandon had been on vocal rest, and the last few days have been too much of a whirlwind. Brandon assumes that's what he wants to do, though to do it in his office when both of their bedrooms are free is a little unusual.

He goes, and Backes is fully clothed and seated at his desk. Brandon's not sure whether or not this is a good sign.

"Sit down," he says, and Brandon complies. Maybe this is a real meeting after all. "How are you?"

Brandon shrugs. "I'm alright," he says. It's the truth. "It would've been nice to win, but we made it pretty far. We're not going anywhere."

"That's exactly what I wanted to hear from you," Backes grins. "I was thinking about offering Endless Holiday a record deal, actually."

Brandon tries to keep his face neutral. "Is that so?"

"Indeed," Backes says.

"Any way I could sweeten the pot?"

Backes grins. "I know what you're doing, Brandon. And it's absolutely working."

The circumstances are weird, to say the least. Brandon wonders if their record deal is contingent on him hooking up with Backes in this office right now. It doesn't seem like something Backes would do - he's always been considerate in the past, and he wouldn't back out of a record deal with a band he truly believes in over something like this. He wouldn't offer them a record deal if he didn't believe in them.

He'd come into the office expecting to hook up with Backes, though, and he'd be disappointed to leave without it. No use dwelling on the details.

"Why don't I come over and help you get that shirt off?"

-

It doesn't take long for Backes to call the whole band into his office - barely a full day. Brandon is positive of what he's about to offer, but he doesn't spoil it for the rest of the band. He wants to see their reactions in real time - and besides, he doesn't have a whole lot of warning. Backes asks to see them immediately. 

"I have two important items for you boys today," Backes says. "But before we get into those, I wanted to thank you for the last several months. You've been an absolute pleasure to work with," he looks pointedly at Brandon, "and I can't wait to see what the future holds for you. You're going to go far, and I don't say that lightly."

Brandon hopes Backes is going to play a part in that, but all he says is "Thank you." The others echo his sentiment.

"Now, I'll start with the less important of my two items: _No Control_." He's referring to the cover of One Direction's new song they'd recorded last week, in between all the practice. Every top three finalist records a new cover, and the winner's is released as their first single. The other two never see the light of day - at least, that's how it's supposed to go. "You may be aware that One Direction's cover of _Forever Young_ was leaked back when they were in your position. That was a smart career move, in my humble opinion. You didn't hear this from me, but it would be a potentially terrible idea to leak the song. Giving the fans something to hold onto in the time before you release your first original song is certainly never wise. You understand?"

"Yes, got it," Sean says. "I'll be in charge of getting that done."

"Sounds wonderful," Backes smiles. "I'm glad you're all as committed to anti-leaking measures as I am. Now, onto what you're really here for. I'd like to formally offer you a record deal."

Trent has the best reaction, Brandon thinks. His eyes are comically wide, and as soon as he looks at Charlie, they both get up and start jumping up and down and screaming. Backes looks on in amusement. Matt and Sean are both smiling; they look excited, and Brandon reaches out to high five them both before everyone settles down.

"Fuck, that's incredible, thank you," Trent says. "Oh my God. We're going to be signed."

"Can we see the contract now?" Sean asks, taking his role as the responsible one seriously. Brandon had been thinking the same thing. No use in celebrating until they're sure they can sign it, and his dad once told him contracts from shows like this are "complete shit".

Backes hands it over, and Sean reads it briefly. He shrugs. "Seems okay, I think, but I personally won't sign it until we look it over with a lawyer."

Backes frowns. He really didn't like that. "Is that really necessary, Sean?"

Sean doesn't back down. "Yes, it's our legal right to do so."

"I think it's a good idea," Brandon says. Backes looks almost betrayed. "It's not that we don't trust you; it's that we know you didn't actually write that contract. It's a generic one handed out to everyone who's signed through _The X Factor_, and I've heard there can be some harmful clauses in those. I just want to get a second opinion before I sign it, but I do greatly appreciate the offer and I cannot thank you enough for extending it."

Backes nods, seemingly resigned to his fate. "Fine. You can get a lawyer to look it over. But if I don't have an answer in three days - that'll be by 9am Monday morning - the offer is rescinded."

It's a bluff, Brandon is sure of it, but he's not going to call him out on it. That may be pushing the limits a little too far.

"Consider it a deal," he says. 

-

The timing is horrible, to say the least. It's already Thursday afternoon, so they need to find someone who will either have time to see them tomorrow or is willing to work on the weekend. The whole band holes up in Brandon's room, all of them Googling various entertainment lawyers in LA and calling in the hopes that they'll pick up. They haven't gotten anywhere; no one is available on such short notice, at least not for a band they've never heard of. 

"Maybe we need to try another method," Matt says after two hours of searching to no avail. "Some of you have connections, right? Sean and Brandon, anyway. Danton and - this is a last resort, really, but Brandon, your dad probably knows someone."

"I can't let our career be kickstarted by his help," Brandon says. "I just - he'll hold it over my head forever. I can't. Even if he did find someone, I wouldn't be surprised if he told them to sabotage us. He's - not a nice man. He doesn't want me to succeed unless I'm doing the same thing he did."

They all go quiet for a moment before Matt speaks.

"I'm sorry," he says. "You're right; it's not worth it. If we don't find someone - I mean, it's not the end of the world. We can just sign, right?"

"Yeah," Trent says. "I really don't care if we're signing our lives away, personally. I mean, I support you guys trying to fight for our rights or whatever, but I just want to make music and be famous."

"I'll call Danton," Sean says. "He should know someone, right? It hasn't been that long since he signed his own record deal."

He steps out of the room, presumably to do just that, grabbing Brandon's card key on the way out. Brandon figures if he feels the need to step out, he's going to do more than just ask about lawyers.

"I still don't really know what's going on," Charlie says. "The contract looks fine to me."

"Only because you don't understand most of the legal terms," Brandon explains. "I mean, none of us do. They're written to look fine if you don't have extensive training."

"Oh," Charlie says. "That seems wrong."

Matt laughs. "Welcome to the music industry."

"Any entertainment industry, really," Brandon adds. "They're all fucked up."

"Sean left the room so now you guys are becoming him? Great, someone turn up the Paramore," Trent says, and they all laugh.

-

When Sean comes back, he has great news and a new phone number.

"Danton's personal entertainment lawyer is willing to help us out on Saturday!"

They all cheer. "That's amazing," Brandon says. "Fuck. We're really doing this."

"I'm glad you called," Matt says.

"I am, too," Sean says. He's blushing a little bit, and Brandon really doesn't want to know why. "He's a guy named Torey Krug, only been in the business a few years but he's a fucking genius. Danton says his contract is one of the most artist-friendly in the country industry. We're in good hands, guys."

-

Torey asks them to come to his office to meet him, as it's a more neutral location. He doesn't want to look it over in the hotel where it was offered. Thankfully, his office isn't too far, so the Uber XL doesn't cost a fortune. 

"Oh yeah," he says once they hand them the contract. It doesn't take him long to make a decision. "This is complete bullshit. They want you to sign your lives away for the next five years. Five albums in five years, touring cycles in between, not so much as a week off at any given point. This advance is barely enough to live in LA while you work on the album. You won't own any of the rights to your music, not even when the deal ends, and they're taking far too high a percentage of the royalties. I can't possibly recommend signing this. For context, I can't divulge all the details, but this advance is less than half of what Danton got. Keep in mind that you already have a built-in fanbase; he didn't."

"Wow," Brandon says.

"I mean, I guess we expected that," Sean says, though he doesn't look pleased at all.

"You have to meet with him Monday morning, right?" Torey asks. Brandon nods. "I'm free then. I'll come with you to negotiate."

"You'd do that?" Trent asks.

"Well, I mean, I'm not doing it for free," Torey says. "That kind of thing is my job. But I also don't need payment until the deal is signed and you have the advance. I trust Danton, and he trusts you guys."

"Let's do it, then," Brandon says. The others all voice their agreement. "Thank you, Torey, really. We'd be stuck in this deal without you."

Torey chuckles. "We haven't won anything yet, Brandon."

-

Torey presents their case as convincingly as any lawyer in a TV drama or movie. That's all the experience Brandon has to draw from, but it's enough to know he's nothing short of amazing. If he were on the other end of that speech, he'd just cower and agree to do whatever Torey wants. 

"Absolutely not," Backes says. "Sorry. Can't change the terms."

"Can't, or won't?" Torey presses.

Backes just shrugs. "Look, if you don't want to sign…"

"We definitely want to sign," Sean says. "We just don't want to sign our lives away."

"Maybe you should have picked a different genre, then," Backes smiles. Brandon is starting to feel a little sick.

"Why don't we all take a breather?" Matt suggests. "Ten minutes, clear our heads, then we come back in here and get back to negotiating."

"I'm fine with it," Torey says.

"Sure, why not," Backes says. He meets Brandon's eyes momentarily. "I'm not leaving the room, so you'll all have to."

Brandon watches everyone file out, knowing full well that Backes expects him to stay.

"So, you know I really can't change the terms, right?" Backes says once they're all gone. "I'm not trying to mess with you guys. It's an _X Factor_-mandated contract. I don't have that right."

"Then why are you acting like an asshole who refuses to budge?" Brandon asks.

Backes smirks. "Wanted to protect my reputation, I guess."

"You're so lame," Brandon sighs, but one look at Backes' face has him smiling a little. He feels so dumb. "Can't you at least change the term? It doesn't have to be five years. I know you don't offer that to everyone."

"No," Backes says. "I don't. You're just special. I wanted to lock you down, keep you close to me, you know? I'm a romantic."

This is feeling like a little bit more than something he'd say to a hookup. It's probably just to get him to agree; at least, that's what Brandon tells himself.

"If I'm so special, then you should know I don't need a five-year contract to be close to you," he says. "Just give us one year. Let us prove ourselves, okay? I know you've seen all along just how special we are. Let me show you just how good we can be."

Brandon knows it's hard to tell whether he's talking about the band or his relationship with Backes. He has no intention of showing Backes just how good the two of them can be, but he doesn't need to know that yet.

"God," Backes groans. "You're so - I want to fuck you right here and now, but I can't. Not with everyone else coming back."

Brandon smiles up at him, keeping their eyes locked. "Maybe we can do it later. You know, if I’m not on a plane back to Colorado."

It's maybe pushing it a little too far. There's no way he can pretend this isn't for the sake of getting a contract. It’s not that he doesn't want to have sex with Backes - he's done it before, and it was great - it's just that things are starting to get a little weird. If there's any chance whatsoever that Backes thinks this is more than a hookup, he needs to get out of their arrangement.

Not until they've signed the contract. They'll still have a year of working with him, but at that point, Brandon won't even need to hook up with him. They'll be touring for most of it anyway, and after that, they'll have full freedom to sign with another label.

He can handle one more night. He'll make the most of it, knowing that it's going to be their last time together. Close out his teenage self's number one fantasy once and for all.

"Fine," Backes says eventually. "You know I'll do anything for you. I'll make it a year."

-

When everyone returns, Backes tells them what he'd already told Brandon. He can't budge on the conditions, but he'll lower the term to one year, after which they have a month to negotiate with his label before having full freedom to move onto another label if they choose to.

They get a few minutes to discuss privately; this time, Backes leaves the office.

"How likely do you think you are to get an offer from another record label?" Torey asks. "And how important is your relationship with David Backes?"

Well, that's the million dollar question - for Brandon, anyway.

"I haven't ever heard of an X Factor artist signing with another label," Matt says.

"I don't think Backes would ever want to work with us if we walked out on this," Trent says. "We could be blacklisted."

"I don't think that would be fair-" Charlie says, but he stops himself before anyone else can. "Okay, yeah, I know - this is the music industry."

"Well, is it worth it?" Torey asks. "It's going to be a hard year. I'm not going to lie to you. You're not going to have an actual break; you're going to start writing your album next week, recording until it's done, booking tours after that, and promoting the album until it's released. That means radio interviews and pop-up shows and whatever else your label can come up with, and from there you'll go right into a tour. Cross-country to start with, and I bet they'll have you go to Europe too. Maybe Australia, South America, even Asia. You're not going to see your families unless they fly out to see you. It's going to be a lot, but you'll get tons of exposure. This is not my area of expertise, but I'd say you have a pretty good chance of being a huge success."

It sounds worth it to Brandon. It's either signing his life away for a year - and really, he doubts they'd find another label that wouldn't make them do all of that - or going back home and wasting away. It's a pretty easy choice.

"I'm in," Matt says. He's in a similar situation, Brandon knows.

"So am I," Charlie says.

"I say we do it," Sean says, and Brandon finally voices his support. Everyone turns expectantly to Trent.

He laughs. "What? I already wanted to sign it when it was five years; of course I’m in."

"There it is, then," Torey says. "You're all set to sign your first record deal."


	13. Epilogue

**DECEMBER 13, 2014 - LOS ANGELES, CALIFORNIA**

The news has gone live, and they're all set to start writing their album the following Monday. It's Saturday now, and they're celebrating their new record deal with a massive party. They've invited everyone who played any part in their success, including all the contestants who made it to the live shows.

Brandon is mostly just excited to see Anders again.

"Yo, zeebs, I'm so stoked for you," he says, pulling him into a hug as soon as Brandon walks up to him. "I knew you'd get here, broski. As soon as I saw your audition, I knew."

Brandon could cry. "You're too sweet," he says.

"You guys are the best boy band ever, seriously," Anders continues. "Like, One Direction is cool, but they don't have what you guys have. You guys have the aitch."

"Aitch?"

"Yeah, you know, like… the special essence of life, or, like, talent or… something," Anders explains. It doesn’t really help, but Brandon appreciates it nonetheless. "The power of friendship. And, like, love."

"You're too good to me," he smiles. "You're easily the most creative and talented artist I've ever heard, man. I don't say that just to be nice; I really do mean it. You're going to do great things."

Anders laughs. "Yeah, sure, we'll see." Brandon makes a mental note to Tweet about how great Anders is at least once a week to make sure no one forgets about him. He's going to get a contract, and he's going to open for Endless Holiday on tour one day. Brandon is sure of it.

He wants to say as much, but before he can, Matt comes over.

"Hey Anders," he says, pulling him into a hug. "I've missed you so much, bro." The conversation is starting to feel a little private, so Brandon waves goodbye and walks away.

He sees Charlie talking to Jake, and he still isn't sure exactly what those two are, but they're definitely something. Trent isn't too far from them, talking to a group of girls Brandon's never seen before. Sean is over in the corner with Danton, and Brandon is only surprised to see that they haven't gotten a room yet. It's a matter of time.

Brandon knows most of the people in this room, and he could easily go to talk to any of them, but given how busy he's been the last few months and how busy he's about to be, he decides that taking a seat in an isolated corner and taking a few minutes to relax isn't such a bad idea. He looks around, taking in the scenery, and feels a strange mixture of proud and surprised at how many people came to congratulate them. Sure, he doesn't even know all of them, but it's amazing how many people support them already - and that's not even counting the fans.

He pulls his phone out, just to check the time, and sees a text from his dad. He hadn't exactly been expecting to hear from him ever again.

_Congrats on the contract. Guess I won't be seeing you._

It's not friendly, but it's not quite as bad as he'd expected. He decides to reply, hoping it'll be the last text he sends him for a long, long time.

_No, you won't._

He puts his phone away. If he does get a reply, which he doubts, he's not even going to look at it until the morning. It's time to go back and talk to people. They all came out to see the band, and Brandon knows all his bandmates except maybe Trent are just going to be off having fun with their significant others and/or fuckbuddies. He may as well go socialize.

It doesn't take long for Connor Clifton of all people to find him. He's wearing an actual cowboy hat and an ugly Christmas sweater featuring a reindeer and flashing lights, and sure, it's in season, but this isn't a Christmas party. He looks ridiculous and Brandon is pretty sure he wants to kiss him, which is - that's certainly something. It's been a while since he's felt that for a guy close to his age.

"Congrats man!" Connor greets him. "That's amazing, I'm so happy for you. You're going to go far."

"Thanks," Brandon says. Maybe he's blushing a little, but he can't help that Connor is unfairly cute. "I sure hope so."

"How have you been?" Connor asks. "It's been a while since we've talked. I missed you, man!"

For once, Brandon thinks about the question. The other night with Backes had been a little weird; he'd wanted to do it, and he doesn't regret it, but he's pretty sure he doesn't want to do it again. Things aren't going to get less awkward now that Backes sort of contractually owns him for the next year.

But Backes doesn't matter, at least not as much as he used to. Brandon has a record deal, has a guarantee that he'll be putting out an album in the next few months and touring the country, if not the world. And he's not going to do it alone - he'll have the best friends he's ever had by his side. Brothers, really.

His whole career is ahead of him, and this is just the beginning. Things are going to work out. He's sure of it.

Talking to this cute country singer helps, too. That's not something Brandon had ever thought he'd have, but then again, he didn't think he'd find success in a boy band either. Maybe Connor is just what he needs, or maybe nothing will come of it. Either way, he's going to talk to him, and he's going to take it as it comes.

"Things are really looking up, actually," Brandon says. He means every word.

**Author's Note:**

> feel free to come talk to and/or follow me on [tumblr](http://www.cjmasim.tumblr.com/)!
> 
> kudos and comments always appreciated <3


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